|1007 - Track of the Moon Beast|
|Air Date||June 13, 1999|
|MST3K Director||Michael J Nelson|
|Running Time||90 Min|
|Movie Director||Richard Ashe|
|Cast|| Chase Cordell|
(as Donna Leigh Drake)
|Preceded by||1006 - Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues…|
|Followed by||1008 - Final Justice|
|“|| (Kathy has a blank expression on her face)
Brain has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.
Track of the Moon Beast revolves around Paul Carlson (Cordell) (pronounced "Pol" by his love interest), a grad-student mineralogist who gets a small fragment of moon rock embedded in his brain during a meteor shower (although fortunately he suffers no pain - in fact, he feels nothing). Everything seems fine... until he transforms into a seven-foot bipedal lizard and starts eating people and making a general nuisance of himself whenever the moon is full.
The authorities call in local anthropologist Professor Johnny Longbow (Sala), or "Longbone" as dubbed by MatB, an expert in Navajo legends, archery, and stew. Longbow, who coincidentally is best friends with Paul the were-lizard, realizes that the terrible manifestation of a Navajo legend has indeed occurred, and there is only one thing that can be done about it.
- 'Sid' the drunk bowler (and the first of Paul's victims) has his bowling bag magically disappear during one of the cuts!
- Shot in September 1972, then sat on the shelf for 4 years, looking for a distributor. In the end, it went straight to television.
- Bill Finger and Charles Sinclair wrote the script in a weekend.
Prologue: Blossoming makes everything taste great!
Segment One: Crow and Mike devour Servo's deliciously blossomed head. Pearl has created a device that controls Bobo by universal remote.
Segment Two: Recreating the first scene of the movie, Crow, Servo, and Gypsy rush the Halloween season. Mike, unimpressed, continues to eat pea pods. An embarrassed and contrite Crow acts as though Mike was terrified, but takes it a little too far.
Segment Three: SOL's Legends of Rock present: The tragic story behind The Band That Played "California Lady."
Segment Four: With the help of the Mobile Personnel Reconnaissance Robot, Servo and Crow might finally learn what kind of pajamas Mike wears!
Segment Five: While playing with his bow and arrow, Servo accidentally shoots a baby satellite. Brain Guy give Bobo a few pointers on how to care for his newly exposed brain. Pearl hates that.
Stinger: Girl is wowed by moon rocks.
Quotes & References
- "I have a creepy feeling that this was filmed at the Spahn Ranch."
The Spahn Ranch was home to Charles Manson and his "family" prior to their killing spree. While this film was never filmed at Spahn Ranch, a previous experiment Mike and the bots were subjected to was: The Creeping Terror.
- "Frank, there, is a child of the universe, no less than the trees."
Mike is paraphrasing a quote from the Desiderata.
- "It's his Indian name. His tribal one." "Like Wahoo McDaniel."
Wahoo McDaniel was a wrestler.
- "We're gonna have to practice some Zen and the Art of Watching Motorcycle Maintenance."
A reference to the book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.
- "He got that bike cheap from Gary Busey."
Actor Gary Busey suffered severe head injuries in a motorcycle accident in the late 1980s.
- "I borrowed my outfit from Doc Sevrinsen."
Doc Sevrinsen is a jazz trumpeter famous for his long stint as band leader on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. He was well-known for his relatively flamboyant clothing.
- "I'm Kent Brockman."
- "I just want some peyote!"
Peyote is a hallucinogenic plant that is sometimes consumed in Native American religious ceremonies.
- "Do you know Billy Jack?
Gunslinger and martial artist Billy Jack is the bi-racial Cherokee/American hero in a series of cult films created by and starring Tom Laughlin.
- "Why do you keep a picture of Army Archerd on your nightstand?"
- "When will our eyes meet?"
A quote from the song "Weekend in New England" by Barry Manilow. The melody of the background music at this point in the film is remarkably similar to that particular song.
- "He stole Robin Gibb's head!"'
Robin Gibb was one-third of the Bee Gees .
- "Hey, behind Longbone! There's Waldo!"
A reference to the Where's Waldo? series of books by Martin Hanford, where the reader is tasked with finding a man in a signature striped sweater and bobble hat outfit amidst a series of chaotic illustrated scenes.
- '"He opens his curtains and immediately gets hit by Skylab!"
In 1979, the abandoned NASA space station Skylab re-entered Earth's atmosphere, and much of the debris landed in western Australia.
- "I am the Jim Morrison king!"
An inversion of a line from Jim Morrison's spoken-word piece "Celebration of the Lizard", in which Morrison states "I am the Lizard King".
- "FAME, Fame, fame, fame, fame..."
Reference to the fading repetition in David Bowie's song "Fame".
- "Hi, I'm here for the misbegotten!"
- "Is that Dick Gregory?"
Comedian and civil rights activist Dick Gregory was once known for making public appearances with extremely obese people in which he vowed to help them lose weight.
- "Martin Yan?"
- "...Toots & the Maytals..."
Toots & the Maytals are a pioneering ska and reggae band.
- "...Brewer and Shipley..."
- "She's got an autographed picture of Elvis Costello and Dean Acheson."
- "It's Chairry before she gained weight!"
Chairry, a living armchair, was a character on Pee-wee's Playhouse.
- "Good night, Keith."
Said during a shot of the moon; Keith Moon was the drummer for The Who.
- "Your own personal moon rock..."
- "Thank you, R. Crumb!"
- "What's happening to the Indian in the painting?" "Uh, he's in the cupboard."
A reference to the children's book The Indian in the Cupboard.
- "Nobody knows what may happen." "Except for Faith Popcorn."
- "I was dreaming and suddenly Judith Light appeared over my head."
- "I'm ready to fight Captain Kirk!"
The Moon Beast slightly resembles the reptilian Gorn alien that fought Captain Kirk in the Star Trek Original Series episode "Arena".
- Paul: "I'd like to see Cathy." Crow: "And I'd like to see Marmaduke."
This riff (along with Mike's subsequent "Aaack!") are references to the long-running comic strip "Cathy". Cathy was a professional single woman who often responded to frustrating situations by crying "Aaack!". Marmaduke is another long-running newspaper comic, about a large mischievous Great Dane.
- "Does anyone need a food cart to crap on?"
In 1995 an investment banker named Gerald Finneran got stinking drunk on a United Airlines flight. After being refused more alcohol, Finneran dropped his pants and defecated on a service cart in the first class section. He received two years probation, 300 hours of community service, a fine of $5000 and ordered to pay $50,000 in total restitution to the other passengers.
- "I must get to my Skitch Henderson convention."
Lyle "Skitch" Henderson was a composer and conductor, working for NBC much of his career. he appeared on the popular television show "Sing Along With Mitch".
- "Hey, did you hear about Niels Bohr and his wife?"
Niels Bohr (1885-1962) was a Danish physicist who was one of the chief architects of quantum mechanics, which has been called the most successful scientific theory of all time. Later in his life he worked extensively with Americans on the Manhattan Project.
- "Tonight on 'Sightings'."
Sightings was a TV series about the paranormal that aired during the 1990s, notably on the SciFi Channel.
- "I need a wheat penny and a Glock."
Among coin collectors, the term "wheat penny" refers to pennies minted between 1909 and 1958. A Glock is a type of handgun.
- "Let's throw water balloons on Georgia O'Keeffe!"
American painter Georgia O'Keeffe worked and lived in New Mexico. She preferred a semi-hermitic lifestyle.
- [Archaeology professor Johnny "Longbow" Salina and his students walk off after a prank.]
- Kathy: Um… why do you call him "Johnny Longbow"?
- Paul: Well, it's his Indian name. His tribal one.
- Mike [as Paul]: Like Wahoo McDaniel.
- Paul: It translates: "warrior's bow that... reaches long to its mark".
- Crow [as Kathy]: Oh! Is he seeing anyone?
- [During one of Johnny Longbow's long-winded monologues, thunder rumbles in the distance.]
- Crow [as God]: Stop talking, Johnny Longbone(sic)!
- [A meteor has just landed right by Paul and Kathy.]
- Kathy: Paul, are you alright? What happened?
- Servo: She gets off the ground saying, "What happened?" a lot.
- [Kathy is worried about a cut on Paul's forehead.]
- Paul: I don't live too far from here. And I have lots of antiseptics at my place.
- Servo: Dozens! No, hundreds of antiseptics!
- Kathy: Your place?
- Paul: Yeah, my place.
- Mike: I call it "Antiseptic Manor."
- Kathy: Fine. Your place, then.
- [Thunder rumbles.]
- Crow [as God]: Not his place! Fornicators!
- [Paul zeroes in on Kathy's face for a smooch.]
- Servo [as Paul]: Let me explain by auguring my tongue into your mouth.
- [Paul rises after fainting.]
- Paul: I guess I blacked out.
- Mike: Um, excuse me, you African-Americaned out.
- [Late at night, Paul leans against his pet lizard's cage, which is as tall as he is.]
- Mike: He sure gave that lizard a lot of headroom!
- Crow: Maybe he has a trampoline in there.
- . . .
- [Paul gazes at the lizard, who stares stonily back.]
- Mike [as Lizard]: Well... now I can't get back to sleep, either. What do you wanna do?
- [As a shirtless Paul roams at night, the camera cuts to a shot of the moon and zooms in.]
- Crow: Tha— That's just a picture of the moon!
- Servo: Yeah, the moon backed out of this movie at the last minute.
- [Two young Native American boys practice archery, while stereotypical "Indian" music plays on the soundtrack.]
- Mike [as Boy]: Thanks for the stereotype music!
- [As the hospital, Kathy has an audio flashback, during which she stares vacantly into space.]
- Mike: Brain has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.[N]
- [Johnny and Captain Mac, looking for Paul, drive past a road sign for U.S. Route 66.]
- Crow: Get your kicks on meeee-ee-ee!
- [Johnny tells Kathy of his plan to give Paul a quick death.]
- Kathy: Johnny, you can't do this! Paul's your friend! Paul—
- Johnny: PAUL IS NOT PAUL ANYMORE!
- Crow [as Johnny]: HE'S SUPER PAUL!
- [Johnny Longbow stares thoughtfully off into the night.]
- Servo [as Johnny]: I see... a huge casino!
- Mike: Oh, come on.
- As of August 2015, this episode has yet to be released on any home video format.
- This and Diabolik are the only Season 10 episodes still unreleased on DVD.
|preceded by: Season 9||MST3K Season 10||followed by: --|
|1001||Soultaker||1999-04-11||1006||Boggy Creek II: and the Legend Continues…||1999-05-09||1011||Horrors of Spider Island||1999-07-25|
|1002||Girl in Gold Boots||1999-04-18||1007||Track of the Moon Beast||1999-06-13||1012||Squirm||1999-08-01|
|1003||Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders||1999-09-12||1008||Final Justice||1999-06-20||1013||Diabolik||1999-08-08|
|1005||Blood Waters of Dr. Z||1999-05-02||1010||It Lives by Night||1999-07-18|