|306 - Time of the Apes|
|Air Date||July 13, 1991|
|MST3K Director||Jim Mallon|
|Running Time||97 min.|
|Movie Director|| Kiyo Sumi Fukazawa,|
|Cast|| Reiko Tokunaga|
|Preceded by||305 - Stranded in Space|
|Followed by||307 - Daddy-O|
|“||"My piece of wood! It died so that we might live."||”|
|— Crow (as Caroline)|
A young boy and his sister visit their uncle's laboratory, where scientists are involved with ground-breaking experiments in the field of cryogenics. They have devised a system in which monkeys, and conceivably humans, can be flash-frozen for years and resuscitated later without any ill effects. While enjoying the grand tour with their uncle's assistant Catherine, a massive earthquake erupts and the three of them take refuge in the experimental cryogenic pods. A falling chunk of concrete hits the controls and begins the freezing process. When the trio awakens, they find themselves in a strange world where apes walk and talk like men and wield complete control of their own civilization. Soon they are running for their lives, pursued by an army of primates that has marked them for extermination. 
- Time of the Apes was originally a 26-episode Japanese television series titled Saru no Gundan ("Army of Apes") that was edited down into this feature-length film and bears more than a passing resemblance to the ideas and makeup effects found in the Planet of the Apes movies.
- See Episode K17. Because of the change in timing from KTMA days to Comedy Central, this version has even more of the movie cut than the previous one. As such, it makes even less sense, since the plot holes as to how the humans find themselves back in their time and what happened to Godo are not revealed.
Prologue: The gang demonstrates why it's a bad idea to play ball on the SOL.
Segment Two: Joel and the Bots examine "Why Doesn't Johnny Care?"
Segment Three: The gang does a surreal reenactment of the Scopes Monkey Trial.Segment Four: Crow looks at the functional but futuristic fashions of the film.
Segment Five: The SOL gang sings "The Sandy Frank Song", letters are read, and the Miracle Growth Baby pushes the button.
Stinger: "Johnny, don't go, it's too dangerous." "I don't care!"
- This is the last time in the Comedy Central era that Jim Mallon appears in the writers list.
- The baby is played by Eli Kenneth Mallon, Jim Mallon's newborn son.
- Joel says “You potched up the hole.”
- Crow’s baseball glove falls off (you can see the duct tape) and Joel just rolls right with it.
- "I knew reading that George Will book would pay off!"
A reference to Men at Work: The Craft of Baseball by political commentator George Will.
- "...you used Deal-A-Meal..."
Deal-A-Meal was a diet plan promoted by Richard Simmons that involved using a set of cards to plan meals.
- "...with extra breakfast cereal, and some fruit bats..."
Items from a long list of strange foodstuffs recited in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (It's from the "Holy Hand Grenade" scene).
- "Hey, where's B.J.?"
A reference to B.J. and the Bear, a TV series about a trucker and his pet chimpanzee that aired from 1979 to 1981.
- "They must be 'recess monkeys!'"
Pun on the rhesus monkeys of Southeast Asia.
- "It's about time!" "It's about space!"
Quoted from the theme song of It's About Time, a TV series that ran for one season in 1966-67.
- "Play 'Misty' for me!"
Play Misty For Me was a 1971 thriller film starring Clint Eastwood as a radio DJ stalked by an obsessed fan.
- "It keeps the hot side hot and the cold side cold!"
The advertising slogan for the McDLT, a sandwich that came in a cumbersome styrofoam container with two separate areas for the hot and cold ingredients (the selling point being that the consumer would combine the two when they were ready).
- "How do it know?"
- "Do NOT attempt to adjust your TV set...!"
Slight misquote to the opening line of the 60's sci-fi television series The Outer Limits. (Actual line: "There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture.")
- "Its the Daleks!!" "Exterminate! Exterminate!" -Joel and Tom Servo when the 3 awaken from stasis.
- "It's a whole planet of Ron Perlmans!"
- "It's like a De Palma Film!"
Film director Brian De Palma [Carrie, Dressed to Kill, Scarface, Carlito's Way, The Untouchables] often used a 360-degree camera pan.
- "I like you. I'm gonna kill you last."
This is a reference to the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie Commando, when he, in the role of John Matrix, tells Sully, the weaselly former Special Forces soldier, "I like you, Sully. That's why I'm going to kill you last". Later he tells Sully, "I lied," just before killing him.
- "'Lancelot Link' alone set us back a hundred years!"
Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp was a children's TV show from the early 1970s, whose characters were played by trained chimpanzees overdubbed with human voices.
- "Meanwhile in 'The Emerald Forest'....."
Possibly a reference to the 1985 film The Emerald Forest in which a dam engineer searches for his son abducted by tribesmen in Brazil.
- "Well look up there, Ned Beatty! Fat ol' hog..."
Tom is referring to the scene in the movie Deliverance where Ned Beatty's character is raped by a hillbilly.
- "Let's stay together!" "That's what Al Green said! I agree!"
- "Hey! Hey! It's Ken Kesey and 'The Merry Pranksters!"
- "Because a mind like Johnny's is a terrible thing to unleash."
A parody of the United Negro College Fund's slogan, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste".
Quoted from "Tradition", the opening song of the Broadway musical Fiddler on the Roof.
- "Oh great, it's a planet of owls!" "And they are not what they seem!"
A play on "The owls are not what they seem", a quote from Twin Peaks.
- "Nicolas Cage in 'Wild at Heart'!"
- "The Invaders! In color."
The Invaders was a short-lived sci-fi TV series from the late 1960s.
- "This music sounds like it's from 'Sketches of Spain'!"
- "Peter Noone!"
- "Now get in there and test that luggage!"
A reference to a 1970s luggage commercial that showed a gorilla trying to smash open a suitcase.
- "Oh thank you, Hanuman. Can we eat now?"
Hanuman is a Hindu god with monkey-like features.
- "Are those Monkey Boy jeans you're wearing?"
A reference to a series of Bugle Boy jeans commercials from the early 1990s.
- "Pop music, pop music..."
Pop Muzik was a 1979 single from a person/band simply named 'M.'
- "He looks like Teddy Ruxpin up close."
Teddy Ruxpin was a popular toy of the 1980s, a teddy bear that "talked" with the aid of special audio cassettes.
- "Is he gonna say he spilled Nair on his face?"
Nair is a brand of hair remover.
- "Neil Peart on drums."
- "People try to put us d-d-down..."
- "Talk about...pop muzik!"
- "He really shocked the monkey!"
- "Oh! There's a guard!" "Elite Republican Guard!"
- "Zsa Zsa Gabor?" "No, she's still doing community service."
A reference to a 1989 incident in which Zsa Zsa Gabor was arrested for slapping a Beverly Hills police officer who had pulled her over.
- "Home? Where my thoughts escape me? Home? Where I comb my face-y?"
- "Brawny wants his shirt back."
A reference to the Brawny paper towels mascot.
- "It's Don Knotts in 'The Shakiest Ape in the West'!"
A reference to the Western comedy movie The Shakiest Gun in the West.
- "Hey, look! Caddyshack! Oh no wait...it's Pepe!"
Riffing on how Pepe's face markings resemble those of the gopher puppet that tormented Bill Murray in the 1980 golf comedy Caddyshack.
- "My name is Inigo Montoya!"
A quote from the movie The Princess Bride directed by Rob Reiner.
- "He's waiting for Godo, I think."
A reference to the play Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett.
- "I'm gonna go rent 'Faces of Death'."
Faces of Death is an infamous exploitation film consisting of supposedly authentic footage of people being killed.
- "Fashions by Issey Miyake!"
Issey Miyake is a Japanese fashion designer.
- "It's an Obssession commercial! If I'm an ape, then pronounce me guilty." "Between apes and men lies Obsession."
A reference to commercials for Calvin Klein's fragrance Obsession, which were frequently mocked for their art film-like pretentiousness.
- "Only seven days..." "In May!"
A reference to the 1960s political thriller Seven Days in May.
|preceded by: Season 2||MST3K Season 3||followed by: Season 4|
|1991 - 1992|
|301||Cave Dwellers||1991-06-01||309||The Amazing Colossal Man||1991-07-27||317||The Saga of the Viking Women...||1991-10-26|
|302||Gamera||1991-06-08||310||Fugitive Alien||1991-08-17||318||Star Force: Fugitive Alien II||1991-11-16|
|303||Pod People||1991-06-08||311||It Conquered the World||1991-08-24||319||War of the Colossal Beast||1991-11-30|
|304||Gamera vs Barugon||1991-06-22||312||Gamera vs Guiron||1991-09-07||320||The Unearthly||1991-12-14|
|305||Stranded in Space||1991-06-29||313||Earth vs the Spider||1991-09-21||321||Santa Claus Conquers the Martians||1991-12-21|
|306||Time of the Apes||1991-07-06||314||Mighty Jack||1991-09-28||322||Master Ninja I||1992-01-11|
|307||Daddy-O (episode)||1991-07-13||315||Teenage Cave Man||1991-11-09||323||The Castle of Fu Manchu||1992-01-18|
|308||Gamera vs Gaos||1991-07-20||316||Gamera vs Zigra||1991-10-19||324||Master Ninja II||1992-01-25|