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MST3k 302 Tibby the Turtle

Tibby, Oh Tibby, is a song from the episode Gamera. Tom Servo sings to his (artificial) pet turtle, until Crow comes along and ruins it for Tom.

Lyrics

TOM: More fish flakes, sweet friend?


[lights dim, Servo sings]


Oh, Tibby, my Tibby/My heart is a mess/I don't have a protective shell/Over my chest.

So people can HURT me/With the cruel things they dooo/Yet somehow, sweet Tibby/I know you hurt, too.

Oh, Tibby, my Tibby/Reality's hard/So Tibby/Let's play in the yaaaaaaard!

Oooooooh, Tibby

Oh, Tibby!/[Crow enters]He runs like the wind/A couple of inches--aha!--/And then back again!

Oooh-doh-doooh.


CROW: Uh, may I take a verse?


TOM: Oooo-doo-doooo. Well, if you feel it, Crow.


CROW: Oh, I--do. Ahem!


TOM: Well, Crow. Then by all means. Join me, won't you?


CROW (severely off key and tempo): 5, 6, 7, 8.

Tippyyyy--!


TOM: It's TIBBY! TIBBY!


CROW: Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry.


I love you my fine lit-tle fellaaa!

Even though you gave the whole fam-i-ly salmonellaaa!


[lights rise, music stops, Joel enters]


TOM: No! No! It's not their fault!


CROW: [laughs]


TOM: It isn't their fault! Crow, you take everything good and--! You rip my heart out!!! [sobs]


CROW: Geez, I'm--I'm sorry.


JOEL: C'mon, Crow, let'm finish his song.


CROW: Oh, okay.


JOEL: Go ahead, Tom.


CROW: It's just a stupid ol' turtle.


JOEL: Go ahead, Tom.


[Servo stops crying, lights dim, spotlight on Tibby]


TOM: Thank you, Cambot.


[music begins]

Tibby, my Tibby/Your blood may be cold/But I know that your heart/Burns as hot as a coal!

It burns with the love/Only turtles can feel/Tibby--/Is our love real?


My Tibby, I'll never let the dog nose around your bowl, but you know that don't you? I can see it in your beady, little eyes! If you high-center on your rock, Tibby, I'll be there to help you down!


The toilet's not your fate, friend!/You'll always run freeeeeee/Tibby--/Long as you have meeeeeeeeeeee!


[music ends]


CROW: D'you realize a robot, just sang a love song, to a turtle?


JOEL: That was really good, Tom.


TOM: [sob] Thank you.


JOEL: We got Commercial Sign.



Songs
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Series "MST3K Love Theme" • "Mighty Science Theater"
Season K
Season 1 "Clay & Lar's Flesh Barn" • "Commando Cody Song" • "Beverly Hillbillies Parody"
Season 2 "Sidehackin'" • "Only Love Pads the Film" • "Wild Rebels Cereal" • "My Creepy Girl" • "If Chauffeurs Ruled the World" • "The Jet Jaguar Song" • "Godzilla Genealogy Bop"
Season 3 "Tibby, Oh Tibby" • "Idiot Control" • "A Clown in the Sky" • "Hike Your Pants Up" • "Celebrity Siblings" • "The Gamera Song" • "Michael Feinstein's Gamera" • "Annoying Cornjob Song" • "Slow the Plot Down" • "The Plate Spinning Song" • "The Waffle Song" • "Cosmic Freight Train" • "Music from Some Guys in Space" • "Fugitive Alien Medley" • "Sandy Frank Song" • "A Patrick Swayze Christmas"
Season 4 "City Rap" • "Oh, Kim Cattrall" • "A Danger to Myself and Others" • "Tribute to Pants" • "Satellite of Love Marching Song" • "Ode on Estelle" • "Gypsy Moons" • "Hired!" • "The Many Tunes of Gamera" • "Gypsy Rose Me" • "Happy Thoughts"
Season 5 "What a Pleasant Journey" • "The Janitor Song" • "Killer Shrew" • "My Wild Irish Ireland" • "Joey the Lemur" • "Master Ninja Theme Song" • "Tubular Boobular Joy" • "Whispering Christmas Warrior" • "Merry Christmas...If That's Okay" • "Mystos" • "Girl in Lovers Lane Theme" • "The Greatest Frank of All"
Season 6 "Bouncy Upbeat Song" • "Who Will I Kill?" • "Supercalafragalisticexpiala-wacky!" • "United Servo Academy Men's Chorus Hymn" • "The Poopy Suit Anthem" • "Livin' in Deep 13" • "Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter"
Season 7 "Phones"
Season 8 "The Gods Jam" • "The Funky Seventies" • "Sodium!" • "Loving Lovers Love" • "Satellite Hootenanny" • "Digger Smolkin Medley" • "When I Held Your Brain in My Arms"
Season 9 "Rowsdower Saves Us" • "Air on a Delta Knight" • "The Canada Song" • "Hobgoblins" • "Where, Oh Werewolf" • "Stay!" • " Puma Man"
Season 10 "Oh, I Am Sad" • "Bobo Creek" • "To Earth"
Season 11 "Every Country Has a Monster" • "Our Love Is on Wings (You Can't See)" • "UFO" • "Great Space Circus" • "Aloha"
Additional "1997 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "1998 Academy of Robot's Choice Awards Special" • "1998 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "Satellite of Love"

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