Tibby, Oh Tibby
From MST3K
Tibby, Oh Tibby, is a song from the episode Gamera. Tom Servo sings to his (artificial) pet turtle, until Crow comes along and ruins it for Tom.
Lyrics
TOM: More fish flakes, sweet friend?
[lights dim, Servo sings]
Oh, Tibby, my Tibby,
My heart is a mess.
I don't have a protective shell
Over my chest.
So people can HURT me
With the cruel things they dooo!
Yet somehow, sweet Tibby,
I know you hurt, too.
Oh, Tibby, my Tibby,
Reality's hard.
So Tibby,
Let's play in the yaaaaaaard!
Oooooooh, Tibby! Oh, Tibby!
[Crow enters]
He runs like the wind.
A couple of inches--aha!--
And then back again!
Oooh-doh-doooh.
CROW: Uh, may I take a verse?
TOM: Oooo-doo-doooo. Well, if you feel it, Crow.
CROW: Oh, I--do. Ahem!
TOM: Well, Crow. Then by all means. Join me, won't you?
CROW: 5, 6, 7, 8.
Tippyyyy--!
TOM: It's TIBBY! TIBBY!
CROW: Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
I love you my fine lit-tle fellaaa!
Even though you gave the whole fam-i-ly salmonellaaa!
[lights rise, music stops, Joel enters]
TOM: No! No! It's not their fault!
CROW: Hee hee hee hee!
TOM: It isn't their fault! Crow, you take everything good and--! You rip my heart out!!! [sobs]
CROW: Geez, I'm--I'm sorry.
JOEL: C'mon, Crow, let'm finish his song.
CROW: Oh, okay.
JOEL: Go ahead, Tom.
CROW: It's just a stupid ol' turtle.
JOEL: Go ahead, Tom.
[Servo stops crying, lights dim, spotlight on Tibby]
TOM: Thank you, Cambot.
[music begins]
Tibby, my Tibby,
Your blood may be cold,
But I know that your heart
Burns as hot as a coal!
It burns with the love
Only turtles can feel!
Tibby--!
Is our love real?
My Tibby, I'll never let the dog nose around your bowl, but you know that don't you?
I can see it in your beady, little eyes!
If you high-center on your rock, Tibby, I'll be there to help you down!
The toilet's not your fate, friend!
You'll always run freeeeeee!
Tibby--!
Long as you have meeeeeeeeeeee!
[music ends]
CROW: D'you realize a robot just sang a love song to a turtle?
JOEL: That was really good, Tom.
TOM: [sob] Thank you.
JOEL: We got Commercial Sign.
