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Tibby, Oh Tibby

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MST3k 302 Tibby the Turtle

Tibby, Oh Tibby, is a song from the episode Gamera. Tom Servo sings to his (artificial) pet turtle, until Crow comes along and ruins it for Tom.


TOM: More fish flakes, sweet friend?

[lights dim, Servo sings]

Oh, Tibby, my Tibby/My heart is a mess/I don't have a protective shell/Over my chest.

So people can HURT me/With the cruel things they dooo/Yet somehow, sweet Tibby/I know you hurt, too.

Oh, Tibby, my Tibby/Reality's hard/So Tibby/Let's play in the yaaaaaaard!

Oooooooh, Tibby

Oh, Tibby!/[Crow enters]He runs like the wind/A couple of inches--aha!--/And then back again!


CROW: Uh, may I take a verse?

TOM: Oooo-doo-doooo. Well, if you feel it, Crow.

CROW: Oh, I--do. Ahem!

TOM: Well, Crow. Then by all means. Join me, won't you?

CROW (severely off key and tempo): 5, 6, 7, 8.



CROW: Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

I love you my fine lit-tle fellaaa!

Even though you gave the whole fam-i-ly salmonellaaa!

[lights rise, music stops, Joel enters]

TOM: No! No! It's not their fault!

CROW: [laughs]

TOM: It isn't their fault! Crow, you take everything good and--! You rip my heart out!!! [sobs]

CROW: Geez, I'm--I'm sorry.

JOEL: C'mon, Crow, let'm finish his song.

CROW: Oh, okay.

JOEL: Go ahead, Tom.

CROW: It's just a stupid ol' turtle.

JOEL: Go ahead, Tom.

[Servo stops crying, lights dim, spotlight on Tibby]

TOM: Thank you, Cambot.

[music begins]

Tibby, my Tibby/Your blood may be cold/But I know that your heart/Burns as hot as a coal!

It burns with the love/Only turtles can feel/Tibby--/Is our love real?

My Tibby, I'll never let the dog nose around your bowl, but you know that don't you? I can see it in your beady, little eyes! If you high-center on your rock, Tibby, I'll be there to help you down!

The toilet's not your fate, friend!/You'll always run freeeeeee/Tibby--/Long as you have meeeeeeeeeeee!

[music ends]

CROW: D'you realize a robot, just sang a love song, to a turtle?

JOEL: That was really good, Tom.

TOM: [sob] Thank you.

JOEL: We got Commercial Sign.

Songs edit
"MST3K Love Theme" • "Clay & Lar's Flesh Barn" • "Commando Cody Song" • "Sidehackin'" • "Only Love Pads the Film" • "Wild Rebels Cereal" • "My Creepy Girl" • "If Chauffeurs Ruled the World" • "The Jet Jaguar Song" • "Godzilla Genealogy Bop" • "Tibby, Oh Tibby" • "Idiot Control" • "A Clown in the Sky" • "Hike Your Pants Up" • "Celebrity Siblings" • "The Gamera Song" • "Michael Feinstein's Gamera" • "Annoying Cornjob Song" • "Slow the Plot Down" • "The Plate Spinning Song" • "The Waffle Song" • "Cosmic Freight Train" • "Music from Some Guys in Space" • "Fugitive Alien Medley" • "Sandy Frank Song" • "A Patrick Swayze Christmas" • "City Rap" • "Oh, Kim Cattrall" • "A Danger to Myself and Others" • "Tribute to Pants" • "Satellite of Love Marching Song" • "Ode on Estelle" • "Gypsy Moons" • "Hired!" • "What a Pleasant Journey" • "The Janitor Song" • " Killer Shrews" • "My Wild Irish Ireland" • "Joey the Lemur" • "Master Ninja Theme Song" • "Tubular Boobular Joy" • "Whispering Christmas Warrior" • "Merry Christmas...If That's Okay" • "Rowsdower Saves Us" • "Beverly Hillbillies Parody" • "The Greatest Frank of All" • "Happy Thoughts" • "Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter" • "Livin' in Deep 13" • "Girl in Lovers Lane Theme" • "United Servo Academy Men's Chorus Hymn" • "The Poopy Suit Anthem" • "Square Dance" • "The Many Tunes of Gamera" • "Gypsy Rose Me" • "Bouncy Upbeat Song" • "Who Will I Kill?" • "Supercalafragalisticexpiala-wacky!" • "Satellite Hootenanny" • "Digger Smolken Medley" • "When I Held Your Brain in My Arms" • " Puma Man" • "The Funky Seventies" • "Sodium!" • "Loving Lovers Love" • "Mystos" • "Where, Oh Werewolf" • "Stay!" • "Hobgoblins" • "The Canada Song" • "Phones" • "Air on a Delta Knight" • "The Gods Jam" • "Oh, I Am Sad" • "Bobo Creek" • "To Earth" • "1997 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "1998 Academy of Robot's Choice Awards Special" • "1998 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "Mighty Science Theater" • " Satellite Of Love"

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