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The Unearthly

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320 - The Unearthly
0320
Air Date December 14, 1991
MST3K Director Jim Mallon
Movie Director Boris Petroff
Year 1957
Cast John Carradine
Tor Johnson
Allison Hayes
Myron Healey
Sally Todd
Preceded by 319 - War of the Colossal Beast
Followed by 321 - Santa Claus Conquers the Martians


The story you're about to see is true. No names were changed because no one was innocent.
  — Servo during the first short


The Shorts

Synopses

Posture Pals

320s1

Four children decide to better themselves through posture, with help from their teacher Ms. Martin. Tommy wants to have good health, Jimmy wants to stand straight and tall, Jane wants to grow tall, and Mary wants to look pretty. All four children develop outstanding posture in the end.

320s21

Appreciating Our Parents

This is the story of a boy named Tommy, who can't do anything for himself. He rethinks his symbiotic relationship with his parents, and decides to become a "team player". And, he finds out what Mom and Dad do after he goes to bed.

The Movie

Synopsis

Unearthlyfilm1

The Unearthly

Professor Charles Conway (Carradine) is a mad scientist attempting to develop the proverbial fountain of youth by creating "the 17th gland". Ignoring scientific ethics, his research subjects are people who have no family and are under the impression that Conway can cure their depression. However, his research hasn't been successful and his subjects are turned into grotesque monsters. Some of Conway's patients begin to uncover his scheme and intend to stop him.[1]

Information

  • Look for Tor Johnson's son Karl, who has a bit part in this movie as the largest mutant. [2]
  • The Lobo character here (who can speak) was created by writers Mann and Black. He is a different character than the mute Lobo created by Ed Wood Jr. in Bride of the Monster and Night of the Ghouls. Screenwriter Jane Mann was the wife of director Boris Petroff.
  • This film was released as a double feature with Beginning of the End, which would later be done on MST3K.

The Episode

Host Segments

Unearthlyhost1

Joel's assortment of celebrity products, Including the Jackie Mason Jar!

Prologue: The Satellite of Love crew decides to make an entry for everyone's favorite show, America's Goofiest Home Videos.

Segment One (Invention Exchange): Crow, who was char-broiled during the video shoot, is identified by his dental records. The Mads demonstrate some hard pills to swallow, Including a life size Flintstones Vitamin, while Joel and the Bots create a random assortment of celebrity-inspired products, like the Emilio Esta-Pez and the Jackie Mason Jar.

Segment Two: Tom and Crow learn how to appreciate Gypsy in the same vein as the short. It quickly degrades into the two of them hurling abuse at the other for doing so little.

Segment Three: The SOL crew does a tribute, "The Many Faces of Tor Johnson".

Segment Four: The Bots make up their own board game out of the leftovers from other board games, and model it after the twisted house from the film.

Segment Five: Joel and the Bots read a letter in the style of the Dead End Kids, and even Dr. F even gets into the act with his Leo Gorcey impression.

Stinger: Tor announces it is "Time for go to bed!"

Trivia

Callbacks

Quotes & References

Posture Pals

  • "Avis Films, we try harder."

A reference to Car Rental Company, Avis and its slogan "We try harder".

  • "Hey, it's Whistler's Mother!"

Whistler's Mother is a painting by James McNeil Whistler and is considered a symbol of Americana

Ms. Martin Looks a little like her

  • "The Larch"

A reference to the Monty Python's Flying Circus Episode "How to Recognize Different Types of Trees from Quite a Long Way Away "

  • "...and now Red in the silent spot."

"The Silent Spot" was a segment that ended the later episodes of The Red Skelton Show which involved one of Red's pantomime Characters.

  • "Ya. The'll go to Burger King and get crappy hats."

The Posture Royalty Crown looks like the Paper Burger King Crowns that come in a Burger King Kids Meal

  • "He's got VPL"

VPL is an Acronym for Visible Panty Line

  • "And What gives Jane her worried frown?" "Valium?"

Valium AKA Diazepam is an Anti-Depressant

  • "You have got to be kidding me, Pyle!"

A reference to Andy Griffith show spin-off, Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C (or perhaps to Stanley Kubrick's film Full Metal Jacket, in which a Marine drill sergeant refers to a particularly incompetent recruit as "Gomer Pyle.")

  • "A Playground were APES EVOLVE FROM MEN!?"

A parody of the famous line from the film Planet of the Apes

  • "It's Ernest Borgnine! Ughhh!"

Mary's Momdad looks like distinguished actor Ernest Borgnine best known my MSTies as the grandpa in Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders

  • Crow: "It's Hitchcock!"

Both are a reference to the anthology series Alfred Hitchcock Presents in which Alfred Hitchcock appears in silhouette

  • "And who will have a Sealy Posturepedic Childhood."

Sealy Posturepedic is a type of extra comfy matress made by the Sealy Corporation

  • Crow: "Oh No! Ah I'm On Fire! What a World...What a World."

A reference to the famous death quote of the Wicked Witch of the West in the Landmark film, The Wizard of Oz.

  • "What's the word? Thunderbird! What's the price? 40 twice."

A reference to the ad campaign by the fortified wine "Thunderbird".

  • "I've turned her into a Sleestak!"

The Sleestaks were a race of lizard people in the TV show Land of the Lost.

  • "That's not writing, that's typing."

Truman Capote's reaction to Jack Kerouac's novel "On the Road".

Memorable Quotes

Posture Pals

Narrator: You can see that this boy needs help!
Joel: He's a loser and the kids let him know it.
----
Joel: That's when the Kids came up with a plan to blackmail Mrs. Reedy.
----
Narrator: He's leaning backward out of balance, Just like a house about to fall.
Servo: Just like his Dad on Friday night.
----
Joel [Commenting on the nature of the "Posture Pals" system]: Oh, they're gonna take this for a half hour before they end up killing each other...
---
Narrator: And Bombo reminds her that when you slump, you look tired and unhappy.
Servo [Laughingly]: Bombo!?
---
Narrator: Don't you agree that these four children deserve to win after trying so hard to improve their posture?
Joel and the Bots [Unanimously]: NO!
---
Joel: They're the posture posse!
---
Crow: They're chances of being cool are ruined for life

Appreciating Our Parents

Narrator: Good night!
Crow [As Tommy calling out to his parents.]: No! Help! There's an announcer under my bed!
Narrator: And what about father? What does he do all day? Well he had a particularly hard job today.
Servo: Dad pulls the lever at "The Big House."
[Scene showing Tommy's Porky Pig piggy bank.]
Narrator: Help save money. Remember, someone has to work to earn it.
Servo: Get Porky some pants!

Video Release

Unearthlydvd

Shout Factory single release

  • Commercially released on VHS by Rhino Entertainment in August 1997.
  • Commercially released on DVD by Rhino in April 2003 as part of The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Volume 3, a 4-DVD set with The Atomic Brain, The Side Hackers and Shorts Volume 2.
  • Commercially released by Shout Factory as a DVD single in August 2011.


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