|617 - The Sword and the Dragon|
|Air Date||December 3, 1994|
|MST3K Director||Kevin Murphy|
|AKA|| The Epic Hero and the Beast;|
|Movie Director||Aleksandr Ptushko|
|Cast|| Boris Andreyev|
|Preceded by||616 - Racket Girls|
|Followed by||618 - High School Big Shot|
|“||"And now ladies and gentleman, the Swedish Moses of soul."||”|
|— Mike Nelson|
Once upon a time, there was a happy and peaceful kingdom of golden lakes, rolling hills, and fertile soil. A plundering tribe headed by the vicious Kalin has ravaged the land, pillaging village after village and leaving only desolation and despair. Kalin is a warlord whose brutality is "unmatched in history." Only one person can defy him: a brawny farmer and man of the people who is "stout of heart and brave of spirit," and who is known as Ilya Morometz. With magic sword in hand, Ilya sets off down "the road that leads to death" in his quest to topple Kalin. Two of the most terrifying obstacles he must overcome are a wind demon and a flying three-headed fire-dragon. 
- Roger Corman re-edited this film in the early 60s for U.S. release, changing many of the character names, such as "Nightingale the Robber" to "Wind Demon" and "Svyatogor" to "Invincor." 
- For the English dubbed version, Paul Frees did the voice of Kalin, along with several other voices. Respected journalist Mike Wallace (from TV’s 60 Minutes) did the narration.
Segment One: The nerdy hobbies of the Mads are interrupted when their new female neighbors from Deep 12 drop by, Dr. F and Frank's attempts to make a good impression on them backfires and they ask the SOL crew for some help. Mike, Tom, and Crow present their new topical political comedy show, "Supercalafragalisticexpiala-wacky!" The girls flee.
Segment Two: The SOL crew perform “A Joke by Ingmar Bergman”Segment Three: Mike and the Bots are visited on the Hexfield by Ilya Morometz, who is now a waiter at the pancake house. After some discussion and near-slashing, he agrees to get them ham instead of sausages with their pancakes.
Segment Four: Tom is the only one eager to read Gypsy's review of Supercalafragalisticexpiala-wacky!", until he finds out she savaged his performance. In Deep 13 the Mads continue to believe with bloated confidence that the women from Deep 12 are interested in them, though they choose to continue to re-bag their comics and watch television. That is until the phone rings and they realize it could possibly be them and they cower behind the couch.
Stinger: Ilya makes the wind demon fall out of a tree.
- At one point the Mike & the Bots mention The Legend of Boggy Creek. The SOL crew would later riff the sequel Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues... in Season 10.
- Michael J. Nelson wrote the music for “Supercalafragalisticexpialawacky!!!” The entire staff wrote the lyrics.
- Undersea Kingdom is mentioned at one point.
Host Segment 1
Mike calls the Mads Rivendell and Mordor, which are locations in the Lord of the Rings series. Frank is looking for X-Men #354, though that issue was not published until 1998 (the most recent issue of Uncanny X-Men at the time of broadcast would have been #318). Dr. F mentions his backlog of Starlog and his wish to tape Tekwars. In his nervousness Frank says Babylon 5 was on last night. The Mads end the segment by double bagging Punisher.
Host Segment 2
- A joke by Ingmar Bergman, with the punch line: "When you're out of slits, you're out of pier." This is a play on the Schlitz Beer slogan "When you're out of Schlitz, you're out out of beer." 
Movie Act 1
- "George Clinton!"
- George Clinton is a funk musician known for his oddball clothing and hairstyle.
- "King Friday's kingdom!"
- A reference to the Mister Rogers' Neighborhood character King Friday XIII.
- The Hekawis were a fictional Indian tribe on the 1960s Western sitcom F Troop.
- ”Let Pat Carroll go you beast!”
- "Dan Haggerty!"
- ”Wagons East!”
- Wagons East! is a western comedy movie.
- ”Doctor Who!”
- A British television show staring a time traveling alien named “The Doctor” and his sidekick(s) on their adventures through time and space.
- ”Danny Kaye!”
- Danny Kaye was an American actor, singer and comedian.
- ”I’m Mike Wallace.”
- CBS’ 60 Minutes begins with the correspondents introducing themselves. Mike Wallace is one of these well-known correspondents.
- ”Here’s some Haley’s M.O.”
- Haley’s M.O. is an OTC laxative.
- "He’s got a poster of Sun Ra!"
- Sun Ra was an avant-garde jazz musician.
- "It's the line for Wild Mountain!"
- Wild Mountain is a ski resort in Minnesota.
Movie Act 2
- "Connery! Snipes!"
- Spoken over a shot of a sunrise, this refers to the 1993 movie Rising Sun, starring Sean Connery and Wesley Snipes.
- Crow quotes this line from Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Raven”.
- ”Where are all the ROUS’s?”
- Rodents of Unusual Size from the 1987 movie, The Princess Bride.
- ”Dizzy Gillespie”
- Dizzy Gillespie was an American Jazz musician.
- "Couldn't the wind just cry Mary?"
- A reference to the Jimi Hendrix song "The Wind Cries Mary".
- ”Bring up Al D’Amato!”
- Kristofferson is a singer/actor who closely resembles the actor onscreen.
- ”He’s the artist formerly known as Radiant Prince.”
- A play on recording artist Prince, who, when he chose to call himself by an unpronounceable symbol, became “The Artist Formerly Known As Prince”.
Movie Act 3
- ”…for a hamburger today!”
- Catchphrase of J. Wellington Wimpy, the hamburger-loving character in the comic Popeye. "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today"
- ”Wang Chung with me!”
- ”Oh, Captain Spaulding!”
- ”Clint Howard!”
- Howard is the brother of Ron Howard and is a character actor known for his strange looks (e.g., "Johnson" in the Austin Powers movies).
- "Everyone knows its Windy!"
- ”And so ZZ Top was born!”
- ZZ Top was a rock band known for their long beards and mobile guitars.
- ”We got a great big envoy!”
- A punny reference to the 1975 trucker song Convoy.
- "It's a Matt Groening gargoyle!"
- The gargoyle resembles the art style of cartoonist Matt Groening, creator of the The Simpsons.
- "'Jake and the Fatman' is different than I remember!"
- Jake and the Fatman was a TV crime drama that aired from 1987 to 1992.
Move Act 3
- ”Song of the South!”
- Song of the South is a Disney film that features anthropomorphic animals like the ones in this film.
- ”Boo! Hiss! Free bird!”
- ”Johnny Mercer lyrics really made this song!”
- ”Hey, Red Foxx!”
- A punny reference to American comedian Red Foxx.
- "Bunny Rich!"
- A punny reference to jazz drummer Buddy Rich.
- ”Hi! I’m Julie, your pool director!”
- Love Boat was a television show in the 70s that featured a perky cruise director named Julie.
- ”Rosemary Clooney!”
- Rosemary Clooney was a singer and actress.
Movie Act 4
- ”Snow Days Festival was going so well!”
- Snow Days Festival is a 5 day festival that takes place in Chicago, Ill every winter.
- ”Executive Producer Steve Bochco”
- Bochco is a television producer best known for NYPD Blue and Cop Rock.
- "He's consulting with Black Oak Arkansas."
- Black Oak Arkansas was a Southern rock band. The members of the band had long hair and many had facial hair (not unlike the characters on screen during the comment.)
- ”Dove Bar?”
- A character’s name is comically misheard as this delicious chocolate ice cream bar.
- ”You’re out of order, the whole damn castle’s out of order!"
- A paraphrased quote from the movie "..And Justice for All". The actual line is "You're out of order! You're out of order! The whole trial is out of order! They're out of order!". It would later be more closely paraphrased by Professor Bobo during "Agent for H.A.R.M.".
- ”Everybody’s talking at me.”
- ’’’Everybody’s Talkin’” is a song by Harry Nielson. It was featured in the movie Midnight Cowboy.
- ”The Legend of Boggy Creek had more depth!”
- The Legend of Boggy Creek is a docudrama about a Bigfoot-like creature. It was the first movie to feature Bigfoot and it’s filmmaking process inspired The Blair Witch Project. Its sequel Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues... would later be used as an experiement.
- ”It’s Boris Badenov!”
- Boris Badenov was an evil spy character on The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show. Boris was also voiced by Paul Frees.
- ”But I want to watch Power Rangers!”
- Power Rangers is a long running children’s television series.
- ”Who loves ya, Baby!”
- Catchphrase of Teddy Savalas’ character, Kojak. His main feature was his bald head, much like the character on the screen.
- This is a live album released by Peter Frampton in 1976.
- ”Michael Keaton!”
- The actor onscreen looks much like actor Michael Keaton.
- ”Will the Lawrence of Arabia people please get to their proper sets?”
- Set in Arabia, Lawrence of Arabia looks similar to this scene.
Movie Act 5
- The best known version of this song was sung by Frank Sinatra.
- ”Pete Rose!”
- The actor onscreen has a haircut somewhat similar to this former Major League Baseball player.
- ”But for the sake of the New Christy Minstrels.”
- The New Christy Minstrels was a folk band in the 60s.
- "Another Superfund site is born!"
- Superfund is a U.S. government program charged with cleaning up abandoned toxic waste dumps.
- ”The mass effects of watching Pauly Shore’s last movie.”
- Pauly Shore is an actor/”comedian” who starred in several notoriously bad (though profitable) movies during the 1990s.
- ”The Trix are for kids monument!”
- Trix cereal’s advertising slogan is “Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids!”
- Near the end of most Sega advertisements, their name is yelled quickly.
Movie Act 6
- ”He’s got Dick Butkus intensity!”
- Butkus was an American Football player.
- ”Bobby Knight!”
- Knight is a retired basketball coach known for his displays of temper.
- ”AH yes, Michael Ovitz at his monthly manager’s meeting!”
- Ovitz is a former talent agent known for many lucrative deals.
- ”Thanks to you it’s working, the United Way!”
- Tagline for United Way, a charity organization.
- ”Bring me Moose and Squirell!”
- Catchphrase of the previously mentioned Boris Badenov.
- ”No we won’t!”
- Said in the style of Monty Python’s “Argument Clinic” skit.
- Lassie was a popular television show and movies.
- ”This is Arthurian in a sense that Arther with Dudley Moore is Arthurian.”
- Tom compares this movie with Dudley Moore’s movie Arthur, while at the same time making a joke about it’s resemblance (or lack thereof) to the story of King Arthur.
- This is a song from the Disney movie Pinocchio.
- ”It’s the little Dutch boy!”
- The little Dutch Boy is a character in the book Hans Brinker, or The Silver Skates. It is also the mascot for a brand of housepaint.
- ”Geez who am I, Gary Crosby?”
- Crosby is an actor best known for being Bing Crosby’s son.
- ”Foghat prepares for war!”
- Foghat is a 70s British rock band.
- ”Cattle call for sound of music!” and ”50,000 Maria von Trapps face off with the mongrel horde!”
- As many people run over the hills, the bots reference The Sound of Music
- ”Run away!”
- Running gag in the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Movie Act 7
- ”We fight for Dolly Madison!”
- Dolly Madison is an American bakery that produces snack foods.
- ”Wanna take you higher!”
- I Want to Take you Higher is a 1969 song by Sly and the Family Stone.
- "It's Ghidorah!"
- Ghidorah is a three-headed, dragon-like monster that has appeared in several Godzilla movies.
- ”I love the smell of dragon breath in the morning!”
- Paraphrase of famous quote from the movie Apocolypse Now. The actual quote is "I love the smell of napalm in the morning."
- "The whole point of having a dragon is to tell the world you have a dragon! Why did you keep it a secret?"
- A line paraphrased (and said in the character of) from Dr. Strangelove.
- Strindberg was a Swedish playwright. Backdraft is a 1991 film about firefighters.
- ”Ilya’s Plan is still being taught at West Point!”
- West Point is a 4 year federal military academy.
- ”Miller time!”
- Advertising slogan for Miller Beer.
- ”The hills are in flames!”
- Yet another reference to The Sound of Music
- "It's Housing Project Hill..."
- ”Joining the Hogan tour!”
- ”Foxy Lady”
- The image on screen when this phrase is said might remind a strange person of the late Jimi Hendrix performing at Monterey Pop Festival (kneeling and setting his guitar on fire - before it became the rage).
Host Segment 4
- ”Did you hear Kute Mulgrew is Mrs. Picard?”
- Kate Mulgrew is the actress who plays Captain Janeway on Star Trek: Voyager. Captain of the Enterprise Jean-luc Picard frequently joins her in fan-fic. In addition, Mulgrew played the previously unseen Mrs. Columbo in a short lived spin-off of that title.
The music on the Mads television is similar to the television show Seinfeld.
- ”Universal action pack!”
- Universal Action Pack is series of television movies and shows that aired in syndication from 1994 to 2001. Hercules and Xena Warrior Princess were a part of this action pack.
- "I gotta bag up my Animal Man collection!"
|preceded by: Season 5||MST3K Season 6||followed by: Season 7|
|1994 - 1995|
|601||Girls Town||1994-07-16||609||The Skydivers||1994-08-27||617||The Sword and the Dragon||1994-12-03|
|602||Invasion USA||1994-07-23||610||The Violent Years||1994-10-15||618||High School Big Shot||1994-12-20|
|603||The Dead Talk Back||1994-07-31||611||Last of the Wild Horses||1994-10-15||619||Red Zone Cuba||1994-12-17|
|604||Zombie Nightmare||1994-11-24||612||The Starfighters||1994-10-29||620||Danger!! Death Ray||1995-01-07|
|605||Colossus and the Headhunters||1994-08-20||613||The Sinister Urge||1994-11-05||621||The Beast of Yucca Flats||1995-01-21|
|606||The Creeping Terror||1994-09-17||614||San Francisco International||1994-11-19||622||Angels Revenge||1995-03-11|
|607||Bloodlust||1994-09-03||615||Kitten with a Whip||1994-11-23||623||The Amazing Transparent Man||1995-03-18|
|608||Code Name: Diamond Head||1994-10-01||616||Racket Girls||1994-11-26||624||Samson vs. the Vampire Women||1995-03-25|