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Cananda Song MST3K

"The Canada Song" (sometimes called "I Wish I Was Back in Old Canada") is a song from Mystery Science Theater 3000 performed during the first host segment of episode 910 The Final Sacrifice. Mike and Crow are poking fun at Canadians based on the ones they had just seen in the movie, when Tom Servo rolls up, dressed as a Mountie and admonishes them. He then offers "this song of tribute!"

After Mike and Crow point out, per their verses, everyone else makes fun of Canadians, they urge Servo to give it a try. In typical Tom-fashion, he goes completely overboard, singing about threats of death and violence against Canada instead of light-hearted joshing. After cutting him off mid-verse, Mike and Crow end the sketch trying to console Tom, sobbing over his gross faux pas.

Lyrics

Servo:

Oh, I wish I was back in old Canada,
A land which I never shall lampoon!
How I pine for the ice covering Lake Manitoba,
And the beauty that is Saskatoon!

Mike:

Oh, I wish I was stuck in the hills of Alberta,
Drinking beer with some big dumb guy trapping fur!
As he scraped and chiseled all the moose dung off his boots,
I would learn that he's the Prime Minister!

Spoken:

Tom: Oh, stop that!

Crow:

Oh, I wish I was in the land that gave us Peter Jennings,
Alanis Morissette, Mike Myers, too!

Spoken

Tom: Yeah!

Crow, continuing

No, I take that back, I wouldn't go there even if you paid me,
Oh, Canada, you are a place I must eschew!

Spoken:

Tom: Now, this is NOT in the spirit I intended!
Mike: Oh, come on, give in! I mean, after all, they gave us Ed the Sock, and Rush!
Crow: Yeah, what are you defending? They're such feebs!'
Tom: Okay, I'll try!'
Mike: All right! Good man!

Servo:

(sadly) Oh, I wish I was blowing up Prince Edward Island,
And going on to bomb Ontario, heh heh!
(harshly)The destruction of Canada and all of its culture,
Is by far my fav-o-rite scenario!

Spoken:

Mike: Okay, well that's a little strong....
Tom: No, no, you were right Mike, this is much more fun!

Servo (maniacally):

Just where the hell does Canada get off sharing a border
With countries far superior to it?

Spoken: Crow: Yikes!

Servo (continuing)

Why, you lousy, stinking, francophonic, bacon-loving bastards,
Your country's just a giant piece of sh- (Mike and Crow cut Servo off in mid-sentence, and Servo breaks down.)

Spoken:

Mike, Crow (ab-lib): Whoa! Okay! Whoa!
Tom (sobbing): Sorry! I have no sense of proportion! I'm a disgrace to my uniform!
Mike: That's ok. Calm down. Mustn't hate, mustn't hate...
Crow: At least so overtly.
Mike: Exactly. Must disguise our hate. We'll be right back. Shhhh, it's ok now, Dudley. Calm down...
Tom (sobbing): Pardonnez-moi...
Mike: ...calm down...
Tom: ...pardonnez-moi.

External Links

The Canada Song on YouTube.com



Songs
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Series "MST3K Love Theme" • "Mighty Science Theater"
Season K
Season 1 "Clay & Lar's Flesh Barn" • "Commando Cody Song" • "Beverly Hillbillies Parody"
Season 2 "Sidehackin'" • "Only Love Pads the Film" • "Wild Rebels Cereal" • "My Creepy Girl" • "If Chauffeurs Ruled the World" • "The Jet Jaguar Song" • "Godzilla Genealogy Bop"
Season 3 "Tibby, Oh Tibby" • "Idiot Control" • "A Clown in the Sky" • "Hike Your Pants Up" • "Celebrity Siblings" • "The Gamera Song" • "Michael Feinstein's Gamera" • "Annoying Cornjob Song" • "Slow the Plot Down" • "The Plate Spinning Song" • "The Waffle Song" • "Cosmic Freight Train" • "Music from Some Guys in Space" • "Fugitive Alien Medley" • "Sandy Frank Song" • "A Patrick Swayze Christmas"
Season 4 "City Rap" • "Oh, Kim Cattrall" • "A Danger to Myself and Others" • "Tribute to Pants" • "Satellite of Love Marching Song" • "Ode on Estelle" • "Gypsy Moons" • "Hired!" • "The Many Tunes of Gamera" • "Gypsy Rose Me" • "Happy Thoughts"
Season 5 "What a Pleasant Journey" • "The Janitor Song" • "Killer Shrew" • "My Wild Irish Ireland" • "Joey the Lemur" • "Master Ninja Theme Song" • "Tubular Boobular Joy" • "Whispering Christmas Warrior" • "Merry Christmas...If That's Okay" • "Mystos" • "Girl in Lovers Lane Theme" • "The Greatest Frank of All"
Season 6 "Bouncy Upbeat Song" • "Who Will I Kill?" • "Supercalafragalisticexpiala-wacky!" • "United Servo Academy Men's Chorus Hymn" • "The Poopy Suit Anthem" • "Livin' in Deep 13" • "Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter"
Season 7 "Phones"
Season 8 "The Gods Jam" • "The Funky Seventies" • "Sodium!" • "Loving Lovers Love" • "Satellite Hootenanny" • "Digger Smolkin Medley" • "When I Held Your Brain in My Arms"
Season 9 "Rowsdower Saves Us" • "Air on a Delta Knight" • "The Canada Song" • "Hobgoblins" • "Where, Oh Werewolf" • "Stay!" • " Puma Man"
Season 10 "Oh, I Am Sad" • "Bobo Creek" • "To Earth"
Season 11 "Every Country Has a Monster" • "Our Love Is on Wings (You Can't See)" • "UFO" • "The Great Space Circus" • "Aloha" • "Moon 14 Mesozoic Ranch Dinosaur BBQ Theme"
Additional "1997 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "1998 Academy of Robot's Choice Awards Special" • "1998 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "#BringBackMST3K Theme" • "#WeBroughtBackMST3K Theme" • "Satellite of Love"
Collections Clowns in the SkyClowns in the Sky IIMystery Science Theater 3000: The Return (Music from the Netflix Original Series)Songs in the Key of MSTThe New Themes of MST3K

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