|— That weird noise Frank sometimes made|
TV's Frank, played by Frank Conniff, is one of the Mads, Dr. Clayton Forrester's lab assistant. He appears at the beginning of Season 2, with the departure of Forrester's earlier co-scientist Dr. Laurence Erhardt, and continues through Season 6. According to The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, Dr. Forrester discovered Frank working at a nearby Arby's. Early on he was simply called Frank; later he acquired the more ostentatious name which is a reference to how a TV personality would sometimes be introduced as "TV's" so-and-so on talk shows and other programming.  Frank wears a black uniform and his hairstyle includes a spit-curl; one episode featured Frank shaving his head, so all that remained was the spit-curl.
Little is known about Frank's past save that he attended Harriet Tubman High School (a real high school in California), where he was held back at least twice. While working at Arby's, Frank was allegedly nicknamed "Zeppo" due to his supposed lack of a sense of humor. Frank had a surprisingly large personal fortune which surfaced whenever a large amount of money was required for a particular skit.
TV's Frank is seemingly the father (or source of some of the genetic material) of Kinga Forrester's assistant Max, who likes to call himself "TV's Son of TV's Frank". It remains unknown if the familial connection is genuine or not.
TV's Frank's first MST3K episode was episode #201 Rocketship X-M, where, apparently still in his Arby's mindset, he took fast-food orders and, rather to Dr. Forrester's annoyance, almost brought the Satellite of Love down so the crew could "dine in." His last regular appearance was episode #624 Samson vs. the Vampire Women, during which he was assumed into "Second Banana Heaven" by the angel Torgo. After his departure, he was immortalized in the following year's Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie as a door handle on the way to the theater.
Frank also made a guest appearance in the Season 10 opener Soultaker, having gotten a job in the afterlife as a Soultaker after complaining that Second-Banana Heaven was "too political" and that Pat Buttram "had it in" for him. (This episode also features a cameo by Joel Hodgson, the show's creator, who played SOL resident Joel Robinson for the show's first six years.) In this appearance, he took the soul of Bobo and played ring toss with it in Castle Forrester, and he seemed to want Joel's as well (though it's unclear as to whether or not he managed to get it in the end). He is also mentioned in episode #822: Overdrawn at the Memory Bank; as the Novacorp chairman, a.k.a. "Fat Man" appears during the opening credits, Mike says, "Wow! TV's Frank! Hi, Frank!" Servo adding, "He's come up in the world!"
During TV's Frank's tenure, the catchphrase "Push the Button, Frank!" was a staple of most shows and the last thing heard before the credits would roll.
Frank usually serves as a foil to his evil boss, Dr. Forrester, and is frequently on the receiving end of many of Forrester's experiments or punishments. He is subjected to many painful deaths but always returns alive and well shortly afterwards; whether this rapid recovery is a quality bestowed upon him by Dr. Forrester or a talent that Frank always possessed (making him uniquely qualified as a mad scientist's guinea pig) was never explained, since it was, after all, "just a show." In #506 Eegah it's revealed that Frank's blood was a previously unknown type when Dr. F replaced it with radiator fluid. Occasionally, however, Frank gets revenge on his taskmaster by directly or indirectly causing Forrester harm. One significant example of sidekick payback occurs in episode #619 Red Zone Cuba, when Frank, supposedly owing the mob "50 large", passes Forrester off as himself, earning the evil scientist two severe beatings and an episode-long stint in full-body bandages.
Frank participates in the weekly invention exchanges that are primarily a feature of the Joel Robinson years. His first invention was a rip-off of Joel's invention, the BGC-1.9 drum machine. He repeated his thievery by introducing the "Cheese Phone", which Joel had supposedly recorded in his notes from the '70s. Unlike Forrester (who rarely even remembered Crow and Servo's names), Frank took a liking to Joel (and later Mike) and the 'Bots, who reciprocated his friendship.
In Season 6, Dr. Forrester discovers that his mother, Mrs. Pearl Forrester, has had a strong friendship with TV's Frank that he'd been unaware of. When she comes to visit, she winds up spending all her time with Frank and neglecting her son, suggesting some of the formative influences that made Dr. Forrester an evil scientist. Little else is known about Frank's background. It's revealed in episode #317 Viking Women and the Sea Serpent that Frank is a vegetarian. Later in episode #624 Samson vs. the Vampire Women, Frank's vegetarianism seems to have lapsed when he devours several chicken-based Chinese food dishes.
His many deaths and injuries
- Catalina Caper: Gets his eye gouged out with a melon baller.
- The Amazing Colossal Man: Gets stabbed by a giant needle.
- The Viking Women and the Sea Serpent: Gets electrocuted to death by defibrilator paddles.
- The Castle of Fu Manchu: Gets his skull crushed by a vice.
- Master Ninja II: Gets his skull crushed by an anvil.
- The Giant Gila Monster: Gets hit in the base of his skull with a mace.
- Being from Another Planet: Gets impaled through the skull with the Thighmaster.
- Attack of the Giant Leeches: Gets all of his blood sucked out of his body by Patches the Leech.
- The Magic Sword: Gets reduced to a skeleton.
- Hercules and the Captive Women: Gets shredded alive by a lawnmower.
- Tormented: Gets blown up by a grenade.
- The Girl in Lovers Lane: Gets a railroad spike nailed into his skull with a hammer.
- The Painted Hills: Dies of cardiac arrest.
- Gunslinger: Gets his head blown up.
- The Brain That Wouldn't Die: Gets decapitated with a chainsaw.
- Alien from L.A.: Gets his liver removed and put into a body organ vending machine.
- The Atomic Brain: Suffocates after getting his head stuck in a fish bowl.
- Village of the Giants: Gets killed by a drill.
- Invasion USA: Gets hit in the base of his skull with a gun.
- The Dead Talk Back: Gets impaled by numerous arrows.
- The Creeping Terror: Gets flattened by a handwringer.
- The Sinister Urge: Gets deep-fried.
- Kitten with a Whip: Gets beaten to death with louisville sluggers.
- High School Big Shot: Gets his crotch mauled by a dinosaur.
- Red Zone Cuba: Gets strangled to death.
Behind the scenes
Frank Conniff was one of the MST3K writers, providing his share of the movie "riffs" that defined the show. He also frequently screened the movies that ended up as MST3K fodder. Occasionally, Frank's multiple roles had an impact on the show's storyline. In episode #621 The Beast of Yucca Flats, one host segment sketch features Crow continually asking if it's 11:30 yet, based on breakfast-skipping Conniff's obsession with having lunch at 11:30.
On two occasions, the Mads try their hand at riffing. In episode #323: The Castle of Fu Manchu, taunted by Joel and the Bots, they make a weak attempt at riffing, but fail miserably. In episode #611: Last of the Wild Horses, in a parody of Star Trek episode "Mirror, Mirror", TV's Frank and Dr. Forrester become the SOL captives and spend part of the episode providing all the riffs. Dr. Forrester comments as they enter the theater that he wasn't going to carry Frank in, a reference to Joel or Mike regularly carrying Tom Servo into the theater.
Frank appeared alongside Dr. Forrester (with Joel and the Bots somehow back on the SOL) in a special feature on the DVD of The Giant Gila Monster.
- Beaulieu, Trace, et al. The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Amazing Colossal Episode Guide (1996). ISBN 0553377833.
- The Official MST3K FAQ
|Principal||Dr. Clayton Forrester • Dr. Laurence Erhardt • TV's Frank • Pearl Forrester • Professor Bobo • Brain Guy • Kinga Forrester • Max|
|Secondary||Gerry and Sylvia • Dr. Peanut • The Observers • Synthia • Ardy • Skeleton Crew|
|Mirror Universe||Mike Nelson • Crow T. Robot • Tom Servo • Gypsy|
|Locations||Gizmonic Institute • Deep 13 • Deep Ape • The Widowmaker • Ancient Rome • Castle Forrester • Moon 13|