|“||Great, this is like having your mom tell you about sex...||”|
|503 - Swamp Diamonds|
|Air Date||July 31, 1993|
|AKA|| Cruel Swamp;|
|Movie Director||Roger Corman|
|Cast||Beverly Garland, Carole Mathews, Mike ("Touch") Connors|
|Short||What to Do on a Date|
|Preceded by||502 - Hercules|
|Followed by||504 - Secret Agent Super Dragon|
Jeff wants to take Kay out on a date, but isn't sure what they'd do. The short offers ideas like taffy pulls and scavenger sales. Nothing says romantic quite like a scavenger sale. Ultimately, all the kids have a wholesomely-celibate-vanilla-white-Eisenhower’s-America good time.
- This short was included on Shorts Vol 2, released by Rhino Entertainment on VHS in October 1999, and on DVD as part of The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Volume 3, a 4-DVD set with The Sidehackers, The Unearthly and The Atomic Brain.
A plucky police woman infiltrates a group of hardened female criminals who are planning to break jail and retrieve their loot of diamonds from its swampy hiding place. Complications arise when the women abduct Connors and begin fighting each other.
Roger Corman's directorial debut.
Segment One (Invention Exchange): Joel finally snaps the Bots out of it. The Mads have The U-View, a TV that lets you see what you'd be doing if you weren't at home watching TV. Joel and the Bots come up with the Andrew Lloyd Webber grill, which they gleefully use to burn the scores to Cats, Phantom of the Opera, and Evita, as well as Chess and Annie, even though he didn't write those.
Segment Three: Servo calls Gypsy to ask her out and completely screws it up. Gypsy finally agrees, if Servo promises to leave when she tells him she wants to go.
Segment Four: Tom and Gypsy go to a scavenger sale arranged by Joel and Crow. Tom checks in with Joel, who gets carried away making sandwiches. Crow makes a move on Gypsy while Tom is gone.
Segment Five: Servo thinks the date went over well, but a quick call to Gypsy reveals she just wants to be friends. Tom doesn't take it very well as Joel reads a letter from a couple who sends the gang a wedding invitation. In Deep 13, Frank sees more of his life in the U-View, but ends up despairing over his love of Baywatch.
Stinger: "Ssssssssshut up!"
- Assorted Baywatch characters (voices): Michael J. Nelson
- Commercially released on DVD by Rhino Entertainment August 2006 as part of The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Volume 10, a 4-DVD set with Godzilla vs. Megalon, Teen-Age Strangler and The Giant Spider Invasion, the DVD was later pulled in October 2006 due to rights issues with Godzilla vs. Megalon. The DVD was later re-released as Volume 10.2 in February 2008, with The Giant Gila Monster replacing the Godzilla film, the DVD was pulled again in January 2010 due to Rhino no longer obtaining the rights to distribute Mst3k.
- "Oh wow, 'Mackenna's Gold' is on!"
Mackenna's Gold was a 1969 Western movie.
- "Goofus and Gallant?!"
Goofus and Gallant are two characters who regularly appear in the magazine Highlights for Children.
- "...and a human ear."
- "Oooh-oooh, Swamp Diamond..."
Joel is parodying the chorus from the Kiss song "Black Diamond".
- "Son of a gun, gonna have big fun!"
Joel is quoting a line from the Hank Williams song Jambalaya (On the Bayou) .
- "Why am I thinking of Joe Theismann?"
- "The Kids In The Hall escape from prison!"
I'll go out on a limb and say they're referring to the Sizzler Sisters sketch(es). Definitely some of Foley and MacDonald's best moments... prick! (In any case, the Kids in the Hall are a Canadian comedy troupe known for frequently dressing in drag)
- "Do you think it's possible the people at Video Watchdog are wrong..."
Video Watchdog is a digest-sized film magazine.
- "Spanish moss in Andalusia..."
|preceded by: Season 4||MST3K Season 5||followed by: Season 6|
|1993 - 1994|
|501||Warrior of the Lost World||1993-07-24||509||The Girl in Lovers Lane||1993-09-18||517||Beginning of the End||1993-11-25|
|502||Hercules||1993-07-17||510||The Painted Hills||1993-09-26||518||The Atomic Brain||1993-12-04|
|504||Secret Agent Super Dragon||1993-08-07||512||Mitchell||1993-10-23||520||Radar Secret Service||1993-12-18|
|505||The Magic Voyage of Sinbad||1993-08-14||513||The Brain That Wouldn't Die||1993-10-30||521||Santa Claus||1993-12-24|
|506||Eegah||1993-08-28||514||Teen-Age Strangler||1993-11-07||522||Teen-Age Crime Wave||1994-01-15|
|507||I Accuse My Parents||1993-09-04||515||The Wild Wild World of Batwoman||1993-11-13||523||Village of the Giants||1994-01-22|
|508||Operation Double 007||1993-09-11||516||Alien from L.A.||1993-11-20||524||12 to the Moon||1994-02-05|