|614 - San Francisco International|
|Air Date||November 19, 1994|
|AKA||San Francisco International Airport|
|Movie Director||John Llewellyn Moxey|
|Cast||Pernell Roberts, Clu Gulager, Beth Brickell, Van Johnson|
|Preceded by||613 - The Sinister Urge|
|Followed by||615 - Kitten with a Whip|
The folks who run a large metropolitan airport handle several crises on the job. Swaggering security chief (Pernell Roberts), who doesn't play by anyone's rules, stages a phony crisis aboard an airplane full of congressmen in order to demonstrate the need for a new runway. Clu Gulager plays head of security for San Mateo County. Or something. The two must stop Tab Hunter and his gang from stealing a shipment of newly-printed currency. David Hartman also appears as a pilot whose wife is being held hostage so that Hartman will delay a plane's takeoff long enough for the criminals to remove the money from the cargo hold. And don't forget, they have to keep the planes landing on time!
Subplots include that of a teenage boy with no flight experience taking to the air in a stolen Ercoupe because his parents (Van Johnson, newpaper columnist extraordinaire, is the dad) are getting a divorce, and a case of mistaken identity between an uptight, diet-gum-chewing bookkeeper and a laid-back "made-for-tv hippie."
Will Pernell get the appropriations for the airport - or be canned for ruffling the wrong feathers? Will the criminals get away with the money? Will mixed-up teenager Davey auger his stolen plane into the bay?
- When the show went to series, Pernell Roberts was replaced by Lloyd Bridges, who later spoofed the role in the movie Airplane!. 
- Actor Russ Conway, perhaps best known to MST3k fans as the Reverend Snow in The Screaming Skull, briefly appears in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it role as the airline mechanic who looks at the "mushy nose wheel."
Segment One: The Mads are very manly construction workers. Mike and the Bots do the old board slapstick routine.
Segment Two: Mike is Urkel! It's funny!
Segment Three: Mike’s still Urkel! It's still funny!
Segment Four: Urkel is still funny . . . until Torgo shows up.
Segment Five: Mike and the Bots ponder the film and determine that David Hartman is extremely ugly. Letters are read, including one of an image of Crow found in ancient cave etchings. Dr. F’s ears have become hideously large.
Stinger: "My job, my way," smug Pernell Roberts says.
- Jan in the Pan: Mary Jo Pehl
- Huggy Bear: Paul Chaplin
- Rooster: Patrick Brantseg
- Nuveena: Bridget Jones
- Santa Claus: Kevin Murphy
- Pitch: Paul Chaplin
- Torgo: Michael J. Nelson
- "And that's the truth - pffft!"
Catch- and sketch-terminating phrase of a character named "Edith Ann" (a very young, nasal-voiced girl sitting in a gigantic rocking chair) played by comedian/actress Lily Tomlin on the 1968 - 1973 variety show Rowan and Martin's Laugh-in.
- "He's got to get to his Lust in the Dust audition."
Tab Hunter played the lead role of Abel Wood in Lust in the Dust.
- "I know Yngwie Malmsteen!"
Yngwie Malmsteen is a Swedish heavy metal musician.
- "I'm sleeping with Herb Caen."
Herb Caen was a columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle from 1938 until his death in 1997; he worked for the Examiner from 1950 until 1958. Caen is credited with creating the word "beatnik." His columns are still reprinted in the Chronicle.
- "Tsk, tsk, Lucas Tanner!"
Lucas Tanner was a television show starring David Hartman that ran from 1974-1975. Hartman portrayed the title character, a former baseball player and sportswriter that became an English teacher.
- "Jeez, ever since Vatican II, these guys..."
The Second Vatican Council (also known as "Vatican II") was held from 1962-65 and resulted in significant modernizations of the Catholic Church's doctrines and rituals.
- "All the church will do is move this guy to another parish."
A reference to the Catholic Church's long-standing policy of playing a shell game (a.k.a. 'Musical Clerics') with priests caught out sexually abusing parishoners, particularly young boys.
- "Sounds like the Avengers are here!"
A reference to the 1960s British TV series The Avengers.
- "I can't wait 'till Reagan fires us."
In August 1981 the air traffic controllers union, PATCO , went on strike demanding shorter work weeks and improved conditions. President Reagan, citing the Taft-Hartley act of 1947, ordered them back to work; 90% of the controllers refused. All 13,000 controllers were fired and blacklisted from government employment.
- "He looks like Dr. Zaius. He even has the Dr. Zaius suit."
- "They should have gotten Schneider to do this."
Schneider was the building supervisor on One Day at a Time, a sitcom from the late 1970s and early '80s.
- "Guess we better slow that Mustang down."
A reference to the R&B song "Mustang Sally" written by Mack Rice and popularized by singer Wilson Pickett..
- "Chain link! Julie! Pete!"
A (terrible) reference to the three leading characters --- Linc, Peter, and Julie --- from the series The Mod Squad .
- "Torn between two airplanes..."
A reference to the pop song "Torn Between Two Lovers".
- "Suddenly... I am Starbuck."
- "I was on the 12th level of Dungeons & Dragons, now there's blood on my knife!"
This is a mash-up of a reference to the actual pen and paper role-playing game Dungeons & Dragons and the anti-DnD film Mazes and Monsters. The film featured a young Tom Hanks playing a boy who'd had a psychotic break and began to believe himself to be his actual Mazes and Monsters character, eventually leading to him stabbing a man, then sobbing in a phone booth about the blood on his knife.
- "Ooh, he's got Palmolive hands!"
A reference to the dish detergent Palmolive, frequently advertised to soften skin.
- "Serum - the new CD from Rush."
A reference to the Canadian rock band Rush.
- "Pablo Casals is in the back seat."
Pablo Casals is a pre-eminent 20th century Spanish Catalan cellist.
- "Pufnstuf, help me!"
A reference to the children's television series H.R. Pufnstuf.
- "Davey, you're gonna meet a guy in a black robe who wants to play chess with you..."
- "I did it all for Jodie Foster!"
- "But dogs told me to do it!"
A reference to serial killer David "Son of Sam" Berkowitz, who claimed that he killed his victims on orders from his neighbor's dog.
- "Um, Lloyd Bridges is replacing you when we go to series."
Indeed, Pernell Roberts was replaced by Bridges for the short-lived 6 episode television series version of San Francisco International Airport.
- "Now stay tuned for 'The Name of the Game'!"
The Name of the Game was a TV series that ran from 1968 to 1971.
- "Sounds like King Friday music!"
A reference to the Mister Rogers' Neighborhood character King Friday XIII.
- "He had an awesome dream!"
- "We've gotta close the beaches!"
|preceded by: Season 5||MST3K Season 6||followed by: Season 7|
|1994 - 1995|
|601||Girls Town||1994-07-16||609||The Skydivers||1994-08-27||617||The Sword and the Dragon||1994-12-03|
|602||Invasion USA||1994-07-23||610||The Violent Years||1994-10-15||618||High School Big Shot||1994-12-20|
|603||The Dead Talk Back||1994-07-31||611||Last of the Wild Horses||1994-10-15||619||Red Zone Cuba||1994-12-17|
|604||Zombie Nightmare||1994-11-24||612||The Starfighters||1994-10-29||620||Danger!! Death Ray||1995-01-07|
|605||Colossus and the Headhunters||1994-08-20||613||The Sinister Urge||1994-11-05||621||The Beast of Yucca Flats||1995-01-21|
|606||The Creeping Terror||1994-09-17||614||San Francisco International||1994-11-19||622||Angels Revenge||1995-03-11|
|607||Bloodlust||1994-09-03||615||Kitten with a Whip||1994-11-23||623||The Amazing Transparent Man||1995-03-18|
|608||Code Name: Diamond Head||1994-10-01||616||Racket Girls||1994-11-26||624||Samson vs. the Vampire Women||1995-03-25|