|— During the nauseating Mitchell "sex" scene|
|512 - Mitchell|
|Air Date||October 23, 1993|
|Movie Director||Andrew V. McLaglen|
|Cast|| Joe Don Baker|
|Preceded by||511 - Gunslinger|
|Followed by||513 - The Brain That Wouldn't Die|
Mitchell is a 1975 film starring Joe Don Baker as an abrasive, alcoholic police detective. Very much an anti-hero, Mitchell often ignores the orders of his superiors in pursuit of his targets, and demonstrates disdain for by-the-book police work as well as normal social graces. The film also stars John Saxon and Martin Balsam as the criminals Mitchell pursues throughout the film. Linda Evans and Merlin Olsen appear in supporting roles as a prostitute and henchman, respectively.
Be sure and notice the genre-busting soundtrack. The movie starts out with a Shaft inspired rubber guitar solo, the chase scenes have a lovely 2 bar light rock/corporate PR film melody, and interspersed with that is some piano noodling that sounds vaguely similar to Nadia's Theme.
And if that isn't enough to set your teeth on edge and leave you tasting vinegar and copper, there's the 'Ma-ma-ma-ma-Mitchell' country crooning of an embarrassed Hoyt Axton (plot summary set to music here).
According to the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, actor Joe Don Baker was very angry at the MST3K treatment of Mitchell and threatened physical violence on any of the cast or crew should he ever meet them in person. This did not stop them from later featuring (and happily mocking) another Joe Don Baker film, Final Justice, and hurling even more vicious insults at Baker. Kevin Murphy later said Baker likely meant it in a joking manner.
EDIT: On the Shout! Factory disc of Future War , the subject of Joe Don Baker comes up in a video of their 2008 ComiCon panel. It was explained by Mike Nelson that "... we brought [Mitchell] up, we were doing a press conference, so every reporter called him. So he got like sixty calls in a row from reporters asking, 'Do you really hate the guys from Mystery Science Theater?' ... Finally at call thirty-two he's like, 'Yes! Die! I hate them!!' So it really is in quotes in the paper that he does actually want to kick our ass."
(To which Kevin Murphy replied, "I say bring it on, sweet-cheeks. Yeah, you're gonna pull back to swing, spill your drink, and trip over your arm-candy. I know you, Joe Don.")
IMDb page on Mitchell
Prologue: Joel has painstakingly fashioned a replica of Monticello out of toothpicks. The Bots want to destroy it, though when Joel says that he wants them to destroy it, they lose interest...momentarily
Segment One (Invention Exchange): In Deep 13, the Mads are being audited by the Fraternal Order of Mad Science, so they’ve hired a temp by the name of Mike to help them get organized. Joel quickly shows his Daktari stool.
Segment Two: While Joel, Crow, and Tom are involved in an Outward Bound-type exercise, Gypsy overhears the Mads plotting the most painful way to fire Mike, but mistakenly assumes they’re planning to kill Joel. This segment features an homage to the 'lip reading' scene in 2001.
Segment Three: A worried Gypsy tries to think of a way to get Joel off the Satellite of Love; Crow and Tom, on pogo sticks and singing old TV theme songs, are no help whatsoever.
Segment Four: Gypsy turns to Mike in Deep 13 for help. Mike learns of a hidden escape pod (in a crate marked "Hamdingers"), and tricks Frank out of his keys so that Gypsy can gain control.
Segment Five: Joel's letter reading is interrupted when he is ejected into the escape pod, leaving behind a plaque and a final word, a quote from The Seven Faces of Dr. Lao.  The bots panic. Joel is safely deposited on Earth, somewhere in Australia. Dr. F is furious and informs Frank that his towel and Frank's hinder have an appointment...until Mike presents his time card. The segment ends with Dr. F. inquiring of Mike of what size jumpsuit the young man wears.
Stinger: "You’re lying through your teeth!" "Buzz off, huh?!" "Buzz off!" "BUZZ OFF, KID!!!"
- As the bots panic at the end of the episode, Tom loses his head and Crow loses his net and eyes, although the crew seem to purposely go with the flow when it happens.
- At movie sign, Joel throws the Daktari Stool in the air; you can hear Kevin Murphy yelling "OW!" when the stool lands on him.
Quotes & References
- "It's a Daktari stool!"
Daktari was a 1960s TV series about a veterinarian working in Africa. Also, "dark, tarry stool" is a symptom of internal bleeding.
- "The Martha Mitchell Story!"
Martha Mitchell was the wife of John Mitchell, the Attorney General of the United States under the Nixon administration. Before Watergate, her suspicions about her husband's unethical activities on behalf of the President were dismissed as symptoms of mental illness.
- "Who’s the puffy guy who’s a big blurry sex machine?" "Mitchell!" "That Mitchell is one fat-" "Shut yo’ mouth!" "Just talkin’ bout Mitchell."
A spoof of the theme song from the 1971 Richard Roundtree movie Shaft.
- "It was the third of September/That day I'll always remember..."
- "Mitchell's on the corner..."
- Tom Servo: "We've hidden the Mitchell somewhere in this picture." Crow: "Mitchell, will you stand up please?" (makes gunshot noise)
A reference to the famous Monty Python sketch, "How Not to Be Seen ."
- "The lunatic is on the grass (laugh)(laugh)..."
The opening line from the Pink Floyd song "Brain Damage".
- "It's not for me to say..."
- "Al Noga?!"
Al Noga is a Hawaiian-born football player.
- "Doctor Detroit!"
Doctor Detroit was a 1983 movie starring Dan Aykroyd.
- "Hey! Lucas McCain lives here!"
Lucas McCain was the hero of the Western TV series The Rifleman.
- "...oh, a GoldStar."
GoldStar was a brand of inexpensive consumer electronics manufactured in South Korea.
- "He's talking to Commissioner Gordon."
The police chief is talking on a red phone, much like the phone used to contact Batman.
- "They arrested Harlan Ellison. ... Good."
Harlan Ellison is a science fiction writer with a huge pedigree and difficult personality.
- "I ought to buy him a pick-me-up bouquet"
Merlin Olson was a spokesman for FTD in the 80s, after he ditched the biscuit hat and grew a beard. The 'pick-me-up' bouquet was a popular item.
- "Somewhere, an Indian is crying."
A reference to an anti-pollution commercial from the early 1970s.
- "Chico, don't be discouraged..."
Servo is singing the theme song from the 1970s sitcom Chico and the Man.
- "I'm King Hussein!"
- "Oh, you're a holiday..."
- "Why are they playing 'Nadia's Theme'?" "He's young and restless!"
- "Sorry about the porn, there's a Kilgore Trout piece in there!"
- "So, Merlin, do you know Roman Gabriel?"
Roman Gabriel was a former NFL quarterback & one-time teammate of Merlin Olsen.
- "Martin Balsam: The Dewar's Profile!"
A reference to a long-running series of magazine ads for Dewar's whiskey.
- "Daryl Gates on his day off"
After having a disagreement with the henchman of James Arthur Cummings, Mitchell turns and shoots him in the back of the leg as he runs away. The comment is a reference to the scandal involving Daryl Gates chief of the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) during the Los Angeles riots of 1992 and his views regarding criminality.
- "Lee Trevino's been hit again!"
- "You really think so?" "I'm turning Japanese"
- "The inspiration for 'Cop and a Half'"
- "Eischied. Eischied."
- "We are two wild and crazy guys!"
- "Thank you very much"
- "Martin Balsam: the Dewars profile."
A reference to a series of magazine ads Dewars Scotch produced, featuring Accomplished People On The Move, or something. The first ad featured Jerry Orbach, if that's any hint.
- "Benton!" "Harbor, Michigan"
Joel changes the character Benton's last name into the city known as Benton Harbor, Michigan
- "Mitchell will return in 'Where Angels Go, Trouble Follows'!"
A reference to the "James Bond will return in..." taglines that frequently appear during the closing credits of James Bond movies (Joe Don Baker coincidentally starred in three James Bond movies as well). Where Angels Go, Trouble Follows was a 1968 comedy film about Catholic schoolgirls on a cross-country field trip.
- "Wasn't John Saxon in this movie?"
The scene where John Saxon's character was killed was removed in the edited version used for MST3k. Ironically, the writers made fun of a loose end in the film's plot which they created. (Mercifully, we were also spared the scene where Joe Don is sucking on Linda Evans' toes.)
Reference to 1991's Cape Fear which also had Joe Don Baker and Martin Balsam in prominent roles.
- "You'll never die, you'll never grow old, and you'll always eat oatmeal."
Buliitt was a 1968 movie starting Steve McQueen that features one of the most legendary, and influential, car chass sequences in movie history. In Driving Miss Daisy, Miss Daisy refused to let Hoke, her driver, drive at more than a snails' pace.
This episode was screened at several colleges before its broadcast. 
|preceded by: Season 4||MST3K Season 5||followed by: Season 6|
|1993 - 1994|
|501||Warrior of the Lost World||1993-07-24||509||The Girl in Lovers Lane||1993-09-18||517||Beginning of the End||1993-11-25|
|502||Hercules||1993-07-17||510||The Painted Hills||1993-09-26||518||The Atomic Brain||1993-12-04|
|504||Secret Agent Super Dragon||1993-08-07||512||Mitchell||1993-10-23||520||Radar Secret Service||1993-12-18|
|505||The Magic Voyage of Sinbad||1993-08-14||513||The Brain That Wouldn't Die||1993-10-30||521||Santa Claus||1993-12-24|
|506||Eegah||1993-08-28||514||Teen-Age Strangler||1993-11-07||522||Teen-Age Crime Wave||1994-01-15|
|507||I Accuse My Parents||1993-09-04||515||The Wild Wild World of Batwoman||1993-11-13||523||Village of the Giants||1994-01-22|
|508||Operation Double 007||1993-09-11||516||Alien from L.A.||1993-11-20||524||12 to the Moon||1994-02-05|