The music, lyrics, and vocals were all created by Storm Dicostanzo and Paiul Sabourin.
- (On the Satellite of Love, Jonah and the Bots are discussing the movie they have been watching.)
- Jonah: What do you think that dinosaur tasted like, anyway? Tuna steak or swordfish or something?
- Crow: Eh, I bet dinosaur tastes like chicken.
- Tom Servo: It's more chronologically-accurate to say chicken tastes like dinosaur, right? (Jonah and Crow nod and respond in agreement)
- (In Moon 13, Kinga and Max stand in their usual spots)
- Kinga: Missing out on the mouthwatering taste of thunder lizard? Get yourself a Moon 14 Mesozoic Ranch dino-steak.
- Max: We've been raising real dinosaurs in our basement, and this is the meal that bland forgot. It's a lost world of flavor.
- Kinga: Plan to dine in the land before time. Hit me with the jingle.
- (Kinga and Max dance as the Mesozoic Ranch logo appears, which is essentially that for Buffalo Wild Wings with a dinosaur on it)
- Jingle singers: Plan to dine in the land before time... Moon 14!
- Jonah: Oh, cool! Wait, are they raised cruelty-free?
- Kinga: Oh, no, no. We are very cruel. But it's probably kosher.
- Max: But who knows? These beasts died off before God made those rules. Do it!
- Jingle singers: Meat from before the time there was language... Moon 14!
- Kinga: Mmmm, our T-Rex-cellent cut. (The scene cuts to a shot of a Tyrannosaurus attacking the Skeleton Crew) The king of dinosaurs is now the king of your stomach.
- Jonah: Is he eating the band?
- Kinga: No no no, don't focus on what he's eating. Focus on what you'll be eating. Who he's eating? Whatever. Jingle this!
- Jingle singers: Tiny little arms but great big flavor... Moon 14!
- (Scene cuts to Moon 14's holding tank room, where two Boneheads fight a Triceratops)
- Max: Ooh, see that horn? We fill it with ground tail and smother it in Dinosauce. We call it the Triple-Dip Tricera-Cone.
- Kinga: Rest assured, all human remains are power-blasted off before it reaches you. Jingle!
- Jingle singers: Slam it on the grill and cram it in your face hole... Moon 14!
- Jonah: Yeah, I don't know...
- Max: How about a taste from the Triassic, Jurassic, and Cretaceous periods all in one bite? (Scene cuts to Kinga and Max fighting a Stegosaurus outside Moon 13) It's the plateo-stego-guanodon.
- Kinga: That is a plateosaurus stuffed in a stegosaurus stuffed in an iguanodon. It took 65 million years to create this meal, but you'll get it in 30 minutes or less.
- Jingle singers: Flame-broiled, deep-fried crime against nature... Moon 14!
- Max: Now a regular menu item at the world-famous Dino Hotel.
- Kinga: The pride of Lakewood, Colorado-
- (A loud stomping sound is heard)
- Max: And I just realized I forgot to lock the allosaurus' pen again.
- Kinga: Uh... uh... to the Moon 13 Mesozoic panic room.
- Jingle singers: Never should have tampered in God's domain... Moon 14!
- Kinga: Yeah, yeah, we're in serious danger. We don't need a jingle right now.
- Jingle singers: Jingle's self-aware now and saying what he wants to... Movie Sign!
- (Kinga and Max run for their lives as Movie Sign goes off in the SOL)
- Jonah: Oh, man, we got Movie Sign!