|322 - Master Ninja I|
|Air Date||January 11, 1992|
|AKA||The Master (eps. "Max" and "Out-of-Time-Step")|
|Movie Director||Robert Clouse ("Max"), Ray Austin ("Out-of-Time-Step")|
|Cast||Lee Van Cleef, Timothy Van Patten, Sho Kosugi|
|Preceded by||321 - Santa Claus Conquers the Martians|
|Followed by||323 - The Castle of Fu Manchu|
This really isn’t a movie, but instead is two episodes of a short-lived early ’80s action TV show called The Master. It’s about an old Ninja (Van Cleef) and his hot-headed American apprentice (Van Patten) as they travel around with a gerbil in a van looking for the Ninja's daughter and helping out people in trouble. The first part deals with the duo’s first meeting as they team up and help a girl (played by a very young Demi Moore) and her father (Claude Akins) save their private airport from corrupt businessmen and dirty cops. Part 2 deals with the duo helping an old guy and his two daughters save their nightclub from some more corrupt businessmen. 
Prologue: The Bots make up their own model car, and Magic Voice is a bit cranky.
Segment Two: Crow discusses the conspiracy that is...the "Van Patten Project"!
Segment Four: Joel and the Bots demonstrate alternatives to numchucks.
Stinger: Timothy Van Patten admits confusion, "To them it’s some kind of ritual."
- Unusual credits: Joel and the Bots sing the "Master Ninja Theme Song" instead of "Mighty Science Theater" being played.
- "He learned too late that man is a feeling creature..."
A call back to It Conquered the World, specifically Peter Graves' enthralling ending monologue regarding Van Cleef's character in that movie.
- "Mmmm..." "Ax!" "MAX!"
A reference to an Electric Company segment from the 1970s.
- "I do like the John Cage soundtrack."
John Cage is an experimental music composer best known for his work 4'33", consisting of four minutes and thirty-three seconds of complete silence.
- "Tonight on Bravo, Martha Graham's new dance company!"
Martha Graham was a modern dance choreographer.
- "Cripes, those turtles moved in next door!"
Presumably a reference to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
- "Meanwhile, in the movie '1941'..."
1941 was a 1979 comedy directed by Steven Spielberg.
- "Henry: Portrait of a Serial Gerbil."
- "I hope Stephen J. Cannell was in that car."
- "He looks about as much like a ninja as Irene Ryan."
Actress Irene Ryan is best remembered for playing Granny on "The Beverly Hillbillies".
- "It's 'Over the Top'!"
Over the Top was a 1987 movie about arm wrestling starring Sylvester Stallone.
- "I'll just die if they find my Tiger Balm!"
- "He's a William Daniels wannabe!" "Michael..."
Actor William Daniels is best known for voicing KITT on "Knight Rider".
- "A man's gotta know his limitations."
A line spoken by Clint Eastwood in Magnum Force.
- "...lifted from 'Then Came Bronson'."
Then Came Bronson was a very short-lived TV series from 1969-1970.
- "Looks like Edie Sedgwick fell asleep again!"
- "He's the Ugly." "No, he's the Bad!"
- "Out you pixies go!"
A quote from Sheldon Leonard in It's A Wonderful Life: "That's it, out you two pixies go! Out the door or through the window."
- "He broke ape law'"
Claude Akins (who plays Demi Moore's father in Master Ninja) played an ape in Battle for the Planet of the Apes.
- "The ninja creeps in on little cat feet."
Riffing the poem 'The Fog' by Carl Sandburg : "The fog comes / on little cat feet. / It sits looking / over harbor and city / on silent haunches / and then moves on."
- "Quick! Take a turn here on Steven J. Cannell Boulevard!"
Steven J. Cannell started as a writer for Adam-12 and Columbo, and went on to create such dreckish TV series as 21 Jump Street, The A-Team, Silk Stalkings, and Wiseguy. Make of that what you will. (Mitigating factor: he also co-created The Rockford Files. No one is allow to talk smack about The Rockford Files, dammit.)
|preceded by: Season 2||MST3K Season 3||followed by: Season 4|
|1991 - 1992|
|301||Cave Dwellers||1991-06-01||309||The Amazing Colossal Man||1991-07-27||317||The Saga of the Viking Women...||1991-10-26|
|302||Gamera||1991-06-08||310||Fugitive Alien||1991-08-17||318||Star Force: Fugitive Alien II||1991-11-16|
|303||Pod People||1991-06-08||311||It Conquered the World||1991-08-24||319||War of the Colossal Beast||1991-11-30|
|304||Gamera vs Barugon||1991-06-22||312||Gamera vs Guiron||1991-09-07||320||The Unearthly||1991-12-14|
|305||Stranded in Space||1991-06-29||313||Earth vs the Spider||1991-09-21||321||Santa Claus Conquers the Martians||1991-12-21|
|306||Time of the Apes||1991-07-06||314||Mighty Jack||1991-09-28||322||Master Ninja I||1992-01-11|
|307||Daddy-O (episode)||1991-07-13||315||Teenage Cave Man||1991-11-09||323||The Castle of Fu Manchu||1992-01-18|
|308||Gamera vs Gaos||1991-07-20||316||Gamera vs Zigra||1991-10-19||324||Master Ninja II||1992-01-25|