|“|| (Over a dedication in the opening credits)
Dedicated to the chickens who lost their lives in the great chicken war.
Wait a minute! Men and women breeding better poultry? What kind of sick experiment is this?
|— Crow and Mike|
|“|| (A newspaper headline reads "Philanthropist laid to rest")
Ah, look at that. "Philanthropist laid." It's always the philanthropists... rock stars and philanthropists.
The Chicken of Tomorrow
We learn what is being done 'today' to create the Chicken of Tomorrow (complete with the growth process of the chicken), with a side mention of how important gas stations and oil are to the poultry industry.
- The short is narrated by Lowell Thomas, the famous American journalist, traveler and radio announcer (and also the inspiration for Arthur Kennedy's character in Lawrence of Arabia).
Hal Moffat (Fred Coby before disfigurement, Rondo Hatton afterwards) is taking wholesale revenge by murdering those he holds responsible for his condition (his former college buddies and a professor of chemistry) and sundry others (delivery boys, store clerks, etc.). While on the run from the cops, he's befriended by Helen Paige (Adams), a blind, utterly naive piano teacher with a one-song repertoire. He develops a warmth for her that inspires him to add robbery to his murders so she may be provided with the money for an operation to restore her sight. The authorities, led by Noel Coward and a comedy-relief police lieutenant, are assigned to apprehend him.
- Rondo Hatton, who played the monstrous "Creeper" in this film and in House of Horrors (1946), was actually handsome as a young man, but later in life became disfigured by acromegaly, a form of gigantism brought about by unnaturally high levels of human growth hormone produced by a disease of the pituitary gland. Hatton passed away before the film was released. Universal was so embarrassed by its shameless exploitation of Hatton's disfiguring illness (which led to his death) that it sold all rights to the finished film to "B" studio Producers Releasing Corporation (PRC).
Prologue: Tom has become heavily involved in real estate, buying a duplex in Philadelphia with his agent Sherrie. He is convinced he needs no money to actually buy one.
Segment Two: Tom is inside an egg so that he and Crow can make an educational film. Mike decides that he will miss Tom too much over his twenty-one day gestation period, and attempts to remove him from the shell; instead, he slips and Tom ends up all over the floor.
Segment Three: Mike calls his old girlfriend Carla and tries to get her to help him escape, but she puts her little boy Matthew on the phone. Then Tom makes Matthew hang up because he's expecting a call from Sherrie.
Segment Four: Crow wants Mike and Tom to help him sing "The Crimes of Tom Dooley", except they will substitute the name of Republican Presidential candidate Tom Dewey because a character in the film (actor Tom Neal playing Clifford Scott) vaguely resembles Dewey. Mike and Tom aren't that into it.
Stinger: The crotchety grocer says, "Creeper, Creeper, Creeper! YOU give ME the creeps!"
- This was the last episode in the Comedy Central era to have a short in it, and it is not until the Season 9 episode The Space Children that another short would be presented at all.
- This was the only episode from Season 7 to not be ranked in the Top 100 Poll among backers of the Bring Back MST3K Kickstarter.
- Stand-up comedian Laura Kightlinger has a bit in her act that is also about the experience of being placed on the phone with a barely-verbal child (as depicted in Host Segment Three). Viewers who enjoyed this sketch can see Kightlinger's take here (the phone bit begins at 12:09).
- “Oh, it’s true.” (The Dead Talk Back)
- Pearl calling Crow "Art"
- When Crow sees the “23” on the Creeper’s lair: “Hey it’s KTMA!”
- "I've seen the episode where the eggs start coming too fast and she puts them in her mouth!"
Referencing a classic I Love Lucy episode where she is working on an assembly line wrapping chocolates.
- "Woah, Milton Berle there."
Show business legend has it that Milton Berle was quite well-endowed in terms of his male anatomy.
- "Et tu, Brute Man?"
A play on Julius Caesar's legendary final words, Et tu, Brute?.
- "It's Goofus and Gallant!"
Goofus and Gallant are two characters who regularly appear in an instructional feature in the magazine Highlights for Children. Goofus is ill-mannered and often disheveled while Gallant is polite and well-groomed.
- "For you, Miss Moss, and you, Miss Taylor."
Kate Moss and Niki Taylor were two famous models in the 90s known for being extremely thin.
- "I'm being followed by a brute shadow..."
A parody of the Cat Stevens song "Moon Shadow".
- "Everybody talk me, can't hear word say."
A variation on the song "Everybody's Talkin'", the best known version of which is the one perfomed by Harry Nilsson and used in the opening scene of the movie "Midnight Cowboy."
- "It's me..." "Satchmo?"
Louis Armstrong, known by the nickname "Satchmo", was known for a gravelly, guttural voice.
- "Professor Cushman was laid to rest in a tiny, battery-powered car!"
A reference to Cushman, a company that manufactures golf carts and parking-patrol vehicles.
- "Exit stage left, even!"
A signature line from the Hanna Barbara character Snagglepuss .
- "It's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!"
A reference to an animated short that appeared on the educational TV series The Electric Company.
- "They forgot my Fruit Brute cereal!"
- "He's Big Head Todd *and* the Monster!"
A reference to the band Big Head Todd and the Monsters
- "Hey, it's KTMA!"
KTMA was channel 23 (UHF) in Minneapolis, birthplace of Mystery Science Theater.
- "He was the athlete and I was the scholar.""Let's make lots of money!"
Crow is quoting the song "Opportunities" by the Pet Shop Boys. The riff plays on the similarities to the lyrics: "I got the brains. You got the looks! Let's make lots of money!"
- "It's the Cheyenne Social Club!"
- "Oh great, all my Gallery mags are in here!"
Gallery is a pornographic magazine.
- As the Creeper walks down the street after murdering the jeweler, Crow hums the first few bars of the Sesame Street theme song.
- "Let me put it this way, have you ever seen 'Chained Heat'?"
Chained Heat was a 1983 exploitation film set in a women's prison.
- "Rick Astley is selling newspapers!"
Rick Astley is a British pop singer with a distinctive haircut.
- "And now...The End is near. So I face the final curtain!" "For what is a man? What has he got?!"
Lyrics from the song My Way which was popularized by Frank Sinatra.
- The Chicken of Tomorrow short was included on Shorts Vol 1, released by Rhino Entertainment on VHS in July 1998, and on DVD in February 2003 as part of The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Volume 2, a 4-DVD set with Cave Dwellers, Pod People and Angels Revenge.
- The entire episode was released by Shout! Factory on the Vol. XXII DVD box set in December 2011, along with Time of the Apes, Mighty Jack and The Violent Years.
|preceded by: Season 6||MST3K Season 7||followed by: Season 8|
|701||Night of the Blood Beast (Turkey Day)||1996-02-03||703||Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell||1996-02-17||705||Escape 2000||1996-03-02|
|702||The Brute Man||1996-02-10||704||The Incredible Melting Man||1996-02-24||706||Laserblast||1996-05-18|