|“|| (The gang enters the theater as the title is shown)
Ah, how many times Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie had sex!
|“|| (Dave hears something)
"Not everyone is Steve!"
|— Dave and Mike|
Once Upon a Honeymoon (1956)
A songwriter's wife, frustrated about not having had a honeymoon with her husband for a year after their marriage due to his work schedule, fantasizes about new home decor with matching colored phones, with the help of a fey bespectacled angel.
- Once Upon a Honeymoon is also the title of a 1942 film starring Cary Grant and Ginger Rogers.
- This short was included on Shorts Vol 3, released by Rhino Entertainment on VHS in Janurary 2001, and on DVD in August 2004 as an limited time exclusive bonus for ordering MST3K: The Essentials from a specially created Rhino site.
SynopsisA rocket-ship carrying astronaut John Corcoran (Michael Emmet) launches and orbits the Earth, marking the United States' first manned space launch. Shortly after taking off, the ship is struck by an unknown object, forcing Corcoran to abort the mission and land. However, the equipment cannot handle the fast descent back into the atmosphere and the ship crash lands in the woods, killing Corcoran. Dave Randall (Ed Nelson) and Donna Bixby (Georgianna Carter), two technicians from a nearby space agency tracking station, locate the crashed ship and recover Corcoran's body. They are baffled, however, by what appears to be a giant tear in the side of the destroyed spacecraft and a mud-like substance covering some of the wreckage. Randall and Bixby are joined by lead scientist Dr. Alex Wyman (Tyler McVey), technician Steve Dunlap (John Baer) and physician Julie Benson (Angela Greene), who was also Corcoran's fiancee. Wyman observes that Corcoran's body exhibits no signs of rigor mortis, and that the blood pooling beside him is not livid as it should be. The team brings the corpse back to their lab to run tests and find further irregularities.
Although the body lacks a heartbeat or pulse, it maintains the blood pressure of a living human being. After looking at his blood in a microscope, they find unusual, unidentifiable cells that seem resistant to destruction from human white blood cells.
The team tries to call for further assistance, but find the radio is no longer working. Randall heads outside to check the power transformers, and is attacked by a large creature (Ross Sturlin) hiding in the underbrush around the station. Randall fires a few shots at the creature with his pistol and escapes unscathed. Although he did not get a good look at the creature, he describes it to the rest of the team as similar in size to a bear.
Later, the team finds the infirmary has been ruined and Corcoran's body is gone. They initially believe the creature had broken in and stolen the corpse, but are shocked to instead find Corcoran has mysteriously regained consciousness. Upon checking his blood again, there is no trace of the mysterious cells from before, but after investigating Corcoran's body, they find the cells have changed into lizard-like fetuses and entered into his abdominal cavity. The creature later breaks into the lab again, this time beheading Dr. Wyman. Randall and Dunlap are initially suspicious that Corcoran was involved in the death, which he denies, but it appears he has some sort of telepathic connection with the creature. Despite Wyman's death, Corcoran does not believe the creature is evil, but rather simply misunderstood. He implores the others to give the creature a chance to explain its actions, and asks that they not condemn it as a monster simply because it is different.As the others plot to destroy the creature with improvised gas bombs and flares, Corcoran flees the station and finds the creature in a nearby cave.
After consuming Wyman's brain, the creature is now able to speak with the scientist's voice and has absorbed his knowledge. Corcoran asks whether Wyman's death was needed, but the creature insists it was a necessary sacrifice. The others arrive to destroy the creature, but hesitate because Corcoran will not step aside and let them throw their bombs. The creature insists it is not an evil monster, but an intelligent alien who has come to Earth to save the human race from its own self-destructive tendencies. It explains that Corcoran's body has been implanted with its embryos, which will allow the alien species to multiply and take over the human race, which the creature claims is the only way to truly save humanity. Upon realizing the creature is forcing the will of its species on the human race, Corcoran concludes the creature is evil after all and commits suicide so its embryos cannot come to fruition. The others then throw their explosives and kill the creature, which in its dying breaths warns that others from his species are waiting in space and will return one day to conquer humanity.
Produced by Roger Corman.
- This was released in one of American International's prepackaged double features. It was paired with Roger Corman's She Gods of Shark Reef (1958), which had gone unreleased for a year and a half. 
- The 'Blood Beast' costume was also used (and worn by the same actor, Ross Sturlin) in Teenage Cave Man.
- Shot in 7 days.
Prologue: Happy Thanksgiving! Did you see the game? Any guess as to which sport it actually is, as Gypsy points out.Segment One: Dr. F’s Thanksgiving party continues, and it's pretty swinging. Dr. F introduces Pearl to the crew, but it turns out she somehow already knows Crow as "Art". He's forgotten to get a movie to show to the SOL crew as that was Frank's job; fortunately, Pearl has one.
Segment Two: Crow and Tom put on a skit to explain to Mike why stuffing is superior to potatoes. Stuffing has pulled children from burning buildings while potatoes watched helplessly as innocents were beaten to death! Mike's revelation that both would be served is met favorably by the Bots.Segment Three: Everyone gathers around to hear Michael Feinstein play. Pearl takes a break from the festivities to chat amiably with "Art" for awhile; alas, she is no more prone to pushing the "bring down the SOL button" than Frank was.
Segment Four: It's time for Thanksgiving dinner on the SOL and after the hymn, the crew finds Crow has disappeared. Turns out he slipped into Deep 13's dinner instead. Each party member goes around the table and gives thanks to God. Pearl thanks Him for Clayton...kind of. Clayton is thankful for his mom and his evilness. The other party guests requests are just as strange.Segment Five: The Bots present their skit on Mincemeat vs. Pumpkin. They are slightly biased against mincemeat. In the meantime, Pearl’s "turkey surprise" has incapacitated all of Dr. F's party guests, except for a sobered-up Jack Perkins, who helps the Mads wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.
Stinger: "A wounded animal that large isn't good..."
- Two versions of this episode exist: this one, shown during the premiere of the MST3K Anthology (a.k.a. "Turkey Day '95"), and a second one used for subsequent rebroadcasts. The episodes differ only in their host segments; the theater segments are identical.
- Both the Turkey Day and rebroadcast versions of this episode were included in the Volume 16 release. The special Turkey Day intro segments for the preceding episodes were also included as a special feature.
- Pearl's "Turkey Surprise" recipe basically amounts to severely under-cooking the turkey and rubbing it with a turtle, both of which are likely to cause salmonella poisoning in whoever ate such a dish. While salmonella can be fatal, it is not always so. The implication is that Pitch and Mr. B Natural were both killed by the food, though the Kitten with a Whip was still seen to be moving. However, since both Pitch and Mr. B are physical incarnations of abstract concepts (Evil and Music, respectively), it is not entirely clear if they can be killed at all. Michael Feinstein's fate remains unknown.
- Mr. B Natural: Bridget Jones
- Pitch: Paul Chaplin
- Kitten with a Whip: Kevin Murphy
- Jack Perkins: Michael J. Nelson
- Mary Jo Pehl's first regular appearance as Pearl Forrester.
- Premiered on Turkey Day '95.
- Crow's nickname of Art goes back in MST History. Waaaay back.
- Beth McKeever started as an intern with this episode.
- "Well, I can't find the Blood Beast, but I seen the Beast of Yucca Flats."
- "I love to go swimmin' / with bow-legged women / and swim between their legs..."
Jack Perkins sings this traditional sea shanty, which has been referenced in multiple pop culture sources, and even sung by Colonel Potter in an episode of M*A*S*H.
- "Mrs. Muir!"
A reference to the movie and TV series The Ghost and Mrs. Muir. In the TV series, the line was usually spoken by Charles Nelson Reilly, whose character in the show, like the angel in the short, was a bespectacled and somewhat effete.
- "It's all part of my kitchen fantasy."
Sung to the tune of Rock 'N' Roll Fantasy by Bad Company.
- "Hi! We're looking for an honest man?"
Diogenes, a Greek philosopher, supposedly walked around with a lamp during the daytime; when questioned why he was doing this, he would say he was looking for an honest man. Steve (or maybe it's Steve) is carrying a lamp in a manner reminiscent of many paintings and statues of Diogenes.
- [ "The last thing I remember..." ] "I was heading for the door..."
A line from the song "Hotel California" by the Eagles.
- "They mean to win Wimbledon."
A reference to a Monty Python sketch, also about amorphously shaped aliens.
- "Welcome to Shakey's!"
Shakey's is a chain of pizza restaurants. In the 70s, they had an "old-timey" theme that includes things like self-playing pianos.
- "Music by Ray Manzarek."
- "Mr. Fawlty, she's-a crazy!"
A reference to "The Psychiatrist" episode of Fawlty Towers, when Basil is outside at night, using his ladder to try to catch a guest with a girl in his room. Manuel's broken English causes Sybil to think Basil is actually trying to peep on a beautiful female guest.
- "Vanna Bourke-White!"
Margaret Bourke-White was a photographer, Vanna White is a television personality known for turning the letters over on Wheel of Fortune. Vanna White's intellect is sometimes called into question in pop culture, given that she rarely, if ever, has any spoken lines in Wheel of Fortune, and is performing a menial, effortlessly-accomplished task that could easily have been automated.
- Commercially released on DVD by Shout Factory in December 2009 as part of The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Volume 16, a 4-DVD set with The Corpse Vanishes, Santa Claus, and Warrior of the Lost World.
|preceded by: Season 6||MST3K Season 7||followed by: Season 8|
|701||Night of the Blood Beast (Turkey Day)||1996-02-03||703||Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell||1996-02-17||705||Escape 2000||1996-03-02|
|702||The Brute Man||1996-02-10||704||The Incredible Melting Man||1996-02-24||706||Laserblast||1996-05-18|