|“|| MA-RINES, WE ARE LEA-VING!|
Sorry, back in Da Nang there for a minute.
|— Crow, Mike as Sue|
Are You Ready for Marriage? (1950)
Another 1950's social hygiene short. In this one, a high school senior named Sue and her boyfriend want to get married right after Sue graduates. A marriage counselor discourages the young couple from entering into a hasty marriage. Always remember Cupid’s Checklist:
- Similar Backgrounds
- Real Friends
- Understand Marriage
- The short was released on Mr. B's Lost Shorts??!! by BBI on VHS and by Rhino Entertainment on DVD retitled as Mr. B's Lost Shorts, part of The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Volume 6
SynopsisUmberto Scalli (Timothy Farrell) is a gangster who manages women wrestlers as a front for his bookmaking, drug, and prostitution rackets. He trusts the wrong people and ends up trying to run away from both the police and mysterious mob boss Mr. Big, to whom he owes $35,000. 
- This film features real-life wrestlers Peaches Page, Clara Mortensen (world champion wrestler), and Rita Martinez (champion of Mexico). 
- Tim Farrell played Umberto Scalli three times, including in 1953's Dance Hall Racket, which was made after Scalli had apparently died in this film.
- Producer George Weiss had Rita Martínez affect a thick Mexican accent because her real voice was "too American".
- Both George Weiss and Timothy Farrell would go on to work with Ed Wood on his first film "Glen or Glenda".
Segment One: Dr. F is experiencing security problems in Deep 13, as evidenced when a group of tourists comes traipsing through. Frank thwarts Dr. F's attempts to test the security system. Attempts to communicate via closet-circuit intercom also fail due to pranking, so Dr. F sends the movie in semaphore.
Segment Two: Inspired by the short, Crow wants to marry Tom, so they take a Cosmo quiz. Mike flings a rubber band like the guy in the short, the Mads yell, "It’s gone!" Frank yells, "He’s a sorcerer!"
Segment Three: Crow’s bachelor party, complete with stripper Jan in the Pan and guilt for cheating on the beautiful Servo, is very depressing.
Segment Four: The Bots’ wedding, attended by Gypsy, Mike, Frank, and the tourists, and officiated by a cynical Dr. F, ends in wrestling chaos.
Segment Five: Even Mike and the Bots, dressed as wrestlers, think there was too much wrestling in the movie. A letter is read from an adorable five year old after the Bots turn one down about a lecture. Lisa Loeb breaches Deep 13.
Stinger: SNAP! "It’s gone!" "Where’d it go?"
- Lisa Loeb: Bridget Jones
- Tourists: Paul Chaplin, Mary Jo Pehl, Patrick Brantseg
- Jan in the Pan: Mary Jo Pehl
- [gunfire sounds] "Marines, we are leaving!" "Sorry, I was back in Da Nang there."
Supposedly, Sue is having a flashback to the Vietnam War.
- "You still didn't pay your Grit bill, ma'am."
Grit was an early nationwide newspaper (since converted to magazine format, and now distributed mainly in rural areas) whose subscriptions were sold door-to-door by children, many of whom were recruited through ads in comic books.
- "I hope Leopold doesn't find out about this."
Nathan Leopold and Richard Loeb were a couple of wealthy college students who, in one of the most notorious crimes of the 20th century, kidnapped and murdered a young boy. The murder was largely based on their sense of intellectual superiority, and their belief that they could carry out the "perfect crime."
- "I got kicked out of L7."
L7 was an all-female alternative rock band.
- "I had a chum in college, who had 'the real thing' with eight successive girls." "Wilt Chamberlain?"
Wilt Chamberlain was a famous basketball player and lifelong bachelor who claimed to have slept with 20,000 women in his lifetime,
- "I think it was in 'Humor in Uniform'."
"Humor in Uniform" is a regular feature in Reader's Digest to which readers contribute humorous anecdotes about military life.
- "I've asked King Vitaman to join us."
King Vitaman is a breakfast cereal.
- "Suddenly, their marriage is 'The Eiger Sanction'!"
The Eiger Sanction is a 1975 thriller film starring Clint Eastwood as an assassin ordered to kill a mountain climber.
- "I worship Cthulhu!"
- "This'd turn k.d. lang hetero!"
k.d. lang is an openly lesbian pop singer.
- "So give to me your leather, take from me my lace!"
- "Hey, Joe!" "Where you going with that gun in your hand?"
- "Hi, Roy! Who's the beard?"
"Beard", in this context, is a slang term for a woman who pretends to be a closeted gay man's girlfriend.
- "Dance with me/I want to be your partner, can't you see?"
Servo is quoting the song "Dance With Me" by Orleans.
- "E-O eleven..."
From the theme song to the original version of Ocean's Eleven.
- "Hey, it's Fran Lebowitz!" "Still not writing."
Fran Lebowitz is an American essayist known for her sardonic sense of humor. She claimed, "All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal."
- "Don't talk about our son, Martha!"
Crow is imitating Richard Burton in [Wikipedia:Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (film) Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?].
- "Timothy Busfield!"
- "Women on the verge of a three-point takedown."
Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown is a 1988 Spanish comedy.
- "Peaches En Regalia!"
- "When Ed Wood saw this movie, it's like when Truffaut saw 'Citizen Kane'!"
Indeed, French film director Francois Truffaut was deeply inspired by Citizen Kane, leading him to do The 400 Blows. The joke is even deeper in that it is suspected Ed Wood did have a hand in the film, as writer and/or director. Producer George Weiss produced some of Wood's films, Timothy Farrell appeared in several of Wood's films, and the writing and direction were strongly similar to Wood's. Ruby is even wearing an angora sweater; angora was one of Wood's fetishes. Robert C. Dertano is credited with the directing credit, while no one was given a screenplay credit. Rather, Weiss "suggested" the story.
- "Radio Free Europe"..."Let's go back to Rockville..."
Two songs by the band R.E.M., apparently suggested by the goon's vague resemblance to lead singer Michael Stipe.
- "He's from Barcelona."
Crow is referencing Fawlty Towers and specifically the character of Manuel (played by Andrew Sachs). On the show, the phrase "He's from Barcelona," was given as an excuse for anything that Manuel said or did that was considered abnormal.
- "Ciao Laverne!" "Ciao Shirley!"
- "Hey, why don't we do it in the road? No one will be watching us."
- Commercially released on DVD by Shout! Factory in July 2009 as part of The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Volume 15, a 4-DVD set along with The Robot vs the Aztec Mummy, The Girl in Lovers Lane, and Zombie Nightmare.
|preceded by: Season 5||MST3K Season 6||followed by: Season 7|
|1994 - 1995|
|601||Girls Town||1994-07-16||609||The Skydivers||1994-08-27||617||The Sword and the Dragon||1994-12-03|
|602||Invasion USA||1994-07-23||610||The Violent Years||1994-10-15||618||High School Big Shot||1994-12-20|
|603||The Dead Talk Back||1994-07-31||611||Last of the Wild Horses||1994-10-15||619||Red Zone Cuba||1994-12-17|
|604||Zombie Nightmare||1994-11-24||612||The Starfighters||1994-10-29||620||Danger!! Death Ray||1995-01-07|
|605||Colossus and the Headhunters||1994-08-20||613||The Sinister Urge||1994-11-05||621||The Beast of Yucca Flats||1995-01-21|
|606||The Creeping Terror||1994-09-17||614||San Francisco International||1994-11-19||622||Angels Revenge||1995-03-11|
|607||Bloodlust||1994-09-03||615||Kitten with a Whip||1994-11-23||623||The Amazing Transparent Man||1995-03-18|
|608||Code Name: Diamond Head||1994-10-01||616||Racket Girls||1994-11-26||624||Samson vs. the Vampire Women||1995-03-25|