|“||"Right now it's more of a teenage crime ripple."||”|
A film intended to highlight the then growing problem of juvenile crime.
Terry is a bitter young woman with an abusive childhood, a criminal record and bad taste in blouses. (She is also "dirt"). Jane is a naif who happens to go on a double date with Terry at the same time the latter seduces a doughy bar patron (who is old enough to be her father) in order to roll him. The planned robbery is foiled, and the two are arrested and booked. Jane's parents sell her down the river for her one error in judgement, and the two females are sentenced to incarceration.
Mike, Terry's gun enthusiast punk boyfriend, who has no reservations about killing to meet his needs, intercepts the car that is carrying the women to their state home and they make their escape. Imagining themselves as a latter-day Bonnie and Clyde, they commandeer a farmhouse and terrorize the family within (a sixty-ish couple, later joined by their son visiting from college) while waiting for an accomplice to arrive with money, guns and transport, after which they will decamp to a remote mountain cabin "so far out in the boondocks no one will ever find us!".
While waiting, Mike threatens to kill everyone several times and in fact does kill a visiting neighbor, but he doesn't have it so easy either. He must listen to the old man read the bible in a stupefying monotone (the guy reading scripture in the flashback scene from "The Touch of Satan" was more exciting - almost), he has to sit on hard chairs, and he runs out of cigarettes. Meanwhile Terry tries to seduce the college guy for laughs.
The police intercept the accomplice on his way to the farmhouse and so the youthful criminals must go to plan B; taking a hostage in a car and ending up at the Griffith Park Observatory in LA, which is closed to the public for the Thanksgiving weekend but perfectly accessible for anyone who wants to operate the revolving telescope dome.
Will the marauding teens pay the price for their depraved actions? Will Jane's claims of innocence be heeded? What is the theoretical limiting magnitude of the Griffith Park Observatory telescope?
- An advertising campaign tried to promote Molly McCart's short haircut as the next fashion, but it failed to catch on.
Prologue: Mike and the Bots are preparing another escape attempt, while Mike wants to keep things low key, the Bots insist on running through all the required WWII POW escape movie cliches.
Segment One (Invention Exchange): Mike continues to try and keep their escape attempt quiet, while down in Deep 13 Dr. F has come up with mace mousse and takes great delight in using Satan's Jockstrap repeatedly on TV's Frank. The SOL crew's liquid rocket pack escape attempt fails due to the fact the LOX tank was filled with the brined samon Lox and not Liquid Oxygen. Crow doesn't get why this should make a difference.
Segment Two: Inspired by the movie, Mike and Bots pay tribute to the important role Doughy Guys played in history.
Segment Three: Mike and the Bots create the first deli in space, S.o.l's!
Closing (Segment Five): While Mike and Crow very briefly discuss the issues raised by the movie, Tom delivers the letters to read. Down in Deep 13, Frank is now dressed as the superhero Doughy Man, which just makes him a more inviting target for Dr. F to mace him again, and again, and again...
Stinger: Jane leaps to her feet and screams "TURN IT OFF!"
Unusual credits: Frank keeps accidently hitting the button and returning the camera to Deep 13, upon which Dr. F keeps macing him.
- “Want some?” (Daddy-O)
- “Thank God we have Radar!” and “Why don’t they look?” (Radar Secret Service)
- New Petitions Against Tax
- "Try the Miles O' Beefe!" - Cave Dwellers.
- "The Mr. B Natural Diet Plate" - Mr. B Natural
- "A cup of Pia Zadora Soup" - Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
- "The Vince Van Patty Melt" - Master Ninja I and Master Ninja II (Supposed to be Timothy Van Patten)
- "The Sid Tuna Melton with Monkey Boy Fries" - Lost Continent and Radar Secret Service
- "The Manos Ham of Fate Rueben" - Manos: The Hands of Fate
- "Joe Don Baker Baked Potato" - Mitchell (Also in the future episode Final Justice.)
- "The Meritt Stone Wheat Crackers" - Earth vs the Spider, Tormented, The Magic Sword, and War of the Colossal Beast.
- "The Monte Christo Markham" - Master Ninja II
- "We're having a crime wave, a teen-age crime wave..."
- "Oh, Elvis Costello's backup band."
While Elvis Costello was probably best known for working with his backup band The Attractions, on his first album, My Aim Is True, he was backed up by the band Clover, which would later, tragically, break up and become Huey Lewis and the News.
- "I'm thinking it over!"
Infamous reply of Jack Benny in a sketch on "The Jack Benny Program" in which he is being robbed. (Benny's stage persona running gag was that he was extremely parsimonious.)
Robber: "Your money or your life!"
Robber: (angered now) "Look Bud, I said your money or your life!"
Benny: (taking umbrage) "I'M THINKING IT OVER!"
- "Was born in the wagon of a travelling show...."
Opening lyrics to Cher's Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves.
- "Deuteronomy is a hoot..."
"The Book of Deuteronomy" is the fifth book in the Old Testament that describes the Laws passed down by Moses to the Israelites.
- "I hear the secrets that you keep, when you're talking in your sleep..."
- (Shot of cigarette butts all over the floor.) "Holy cow! Did you have Rod Serling over!?"
Referencing how Twilight Zone screenwriter Rod Serling was quite the chain smoker.
- "He'll never touch you, Terry. You're dirt."
- The catchphrase is actually an incorrect version of the quote from the movie: "You're dirt, Terry, he'd never touch you."
|preceded by: Season 4||MST3K Season 5||followed by: Season 6|
|1993 - 1994|
|501||Warrior of the Lost World||1993-07-24||509||The Girl in Lovers Lane||1993-09-18||517||Beginning of the End||1993-11-25|
|502||Hercules||1993-07-17||510||The Painted Hills||1993-09-26||518||The Atomic Brain||1993-12-04|
|504||Secret Agent Super Dragon||1993-08-07||512||Mitchell||1993-10-23||520||Radar Secret Service||1993-12-18|
|505||The Magic Voyage of Sinbad||1993-08-14||513||The Brain That Wouldn't Die||1993-10-30||521||Santa Claus||1993-12-24|
|506||Eegah||1993-08-28||514||Teen-Age Strangler||1993-11-07||522||Teen-Age Crime Wave||1994-01-15|
|507||I Accuse My Parents||1993-09-04||515||The Wild Wild World of Batwoman||1993-11-13||523||Village of the Giants||1994-01-22|
|508||Operation Double 007||1993-09-11||516||Alien from L.A.||1993-11-20||524||12 to the Moon||1994-02-05|