|“|| (Later, in Max's van, Carrie drones on and on while Max listens wearily)
You know you're boring when you're boring a Van Patten.
In this Master Ninja "movie," the first half deals with the two Ninjas – master (Van Cleef) and apprentice (Van Patten) – helping a cute country girl (Wings' Crystal Bernard) form a union at her warehouse and fight off the corrupt owners. The second segment has the two helping another cute girl and her rich father fight against terrorists who want to do something evil (although exactly what is a mystery). The duo get additional help (including from George Lazenby), defeat terrorists, and rescue some hostages. 
See Episode 322
Segment One (Invention Exchange): Mads: Conveyor-belt buffet/"Lucy sketch"; Joel and the Bots: Gerbilsphere 2.
Segment Two: The Bots show off their ideas for custom vans.
Segment Three: Crow as General Timothy Van Patton.Segment Four: Tom explains how different detective and other crime-fighting type characters should have pets suited to them.
Stinger: Lee Van Cleef looks smug with a hamster.
- Best Brains had considered doing "Master Ninja III" as the Season 6 finale but instead went with Samson vs The Vampire Women, as a gift to departing cast member Frank Conniff.
- This episode was ranked #97 among backers of the Bring Back MST3K Kickstarter in the Top 100 Poll.
- “Charles Moffet: feared not” (Ring of Terror)
- “Ator! No!” (Cave Dwellers)
- “Ya got me!” (Catalina Caper)
- “McCloud” (Pod People).
- "There's no Kosugi like Sho Kosugi, there's no Kosugi I know."
- "Do not take the green acid!"
A misquote ("Do not take the brown acid") of an announcement made at the Woodstock music festival.
- "Hey look on the wall, it's Milton Berle's netted slingshot briefs."
A reference to the notorious rumor that popular television comedian Milton Berle was exceptionally well-endowed in terms of his masculine equipment.
- "You're very nosy, kitty kat. You know what we do to nosy people?"
A reference to a famous scene in the movie Chinatown, in which Jake Gittes, played by Jack Nicholson, gets his nose sliced open with a switchblade by a thug, played by director Roman Polanski. The scene looks very realistic, leading to the legend that Polanski really did slice Nicholson's nose. Both Polanski and Nicholson got so tired of explaining how the scene was actually done that they just started claiming that it was indeed real.
- "Why me? Why me all the time?"
- "I'm the guy with the snake on my face!"
- "What's this?! The end of Master Ninja?! Tune in tomorrow: same ninja time! Same ninja station!" "Is it curtains for Van Patton?"
- "Xanadu, stately home of Charles Foster Kane! Cost: no one can say."
Reference to Citizen Kane.
- "She threw on a dashiki and blew my ninja mind."
Tom is saying a variation on a line from the trailer from the 1970s blaxploitation film Ghetto Freaks. The original line refers to an incident in which "...a freaked-out white chick in a dashiki blew his mind" (see also The Leech Woman).
- "Before you put your coats on the top peg."
A quote from the "Sex Education" scene in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life.
- "You're in it now, up to your neck!"
- "Michael, I need to be on the set of St. Elsewhere by 11."
- "No tears and no hearts breaking, no remorse."
A quote from the chorus of the Steely Dan song "Haitian Divorce".
- "Ator? No!"
A call-back to the first episode of Season 3, Cave Dwellers, and its hero Ator.
- "He's a man with a plan, he's a ninja!..."
Tom sings an extended riff on the song Keep Your Eye on the Sparrow.
|preceded by: Season 2||MST3K Season 3||followed by: Season 4|
|1991 - 1992|
|301||Cave Dwellers||1991-06-01||309||The Amazing Colossal Man||1991-07-27||317||The Saga of the Viking Women...||1991-10-26|
|302||Gamera||1991-06-08||310||Fugitive Alien||1991-08-17||318||Star Force: Fugitive Alien II||1991-11-16|
|303||Pod People||1991-06-08||311||It Conquered the World||1991-08-24||319||War of the Colossal Beast||1991-11-30|
|304||Gamera vs Barugon||1991-06-22||312||Gamera vs Guiron||1991-09-07||320||The Unearthly||1991-12-14|
|305||Stranded in Space||1991-06-29||313||Earth vs the Spider||1991-09-21||321||Santa Claus Conquers the Martians||1991-12-21|
|306||Time of the Apes||1991-07-06||314||Mighty Jack||1991-09-28||322||Master Ninja I||1992-01-11|
|307||Daddy-O (episode)||1991-07-13||315||Teenage Cave Man||1991-11-09||323||The Castle of Fu Manchu||1992-01-18|
|308||Gamera vs Gaos||1991-07-20||316||Gamera vs Zigra||1991-10-19||324||Master Ninja II||1992-01-25|