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I Was a Teenage Werewolf

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809 - I Was a Teenage Werewolf
0809
Air Date April 19, 1997
AKA Blood of the Werewolf
Movie Director Gene Fowler Jr.
Year 1957
Cast Michael Landon
Yvonne Lime
Whit Bissell
Preceded by 808 - The She-Creature
Followed by 810 - The Giant Spider Invasion

The Movie

Synopsis

Michael Landon is an unlikable teenager with an anger management problem, Whit Bissel is a thoroughly reprehensible mad psychiatrist*. Combine them both for terror 50s style!

As with the preceding episode (The She-Creature), the plot revolves around the absurd idea that hypnosis leads to rapid and short-lived changes in physiognomy (sudden appearance of Chewbacca-class facial hair, British-style dentition, etc.) True, there are hypodermics in this movie, but they're used to inject scopolamine which has yet to cause lycanthropy in anyone. (Well, at least none published in a peer-reviewed medical journal. And who wouldn't publish something like that?)

809

Teenage Werewolf

Our movie begins with a fist fight and ends with gunfire. In between, the shockingly amoral (but, alas, all-too-typical psychiatrist) Dr. Alfred Brandon (Bissell), on staff at an airplane plant (that's right, an airplane plant), uses lactose-lobbing Tony Rivers (Landon) as part of his campaign to 'throw back' mankind to its primal, beastly past (the 70's).

(Of note: Following the release of this film, many psychiatrists added scopolamine to their list of non-FDA-approved off-label medications). Dr. Brandon's rationale for turning men into beasts? Apparently, because it's the only way to save mankind.

Watch for a special guest appearance by Malcolm Atterbury, the depressing dad from High School Big Shot as, uh, Tony's depressing dad.

People were so stupid in the fifties (not like now!) Today Tony would enter a harm reduction program and be encouraged to throw 2%.

  • A mad psychiatrist. That would be new.

Information

The Episode

Host Segments

Countingcrows

Mike as Adam Duritz

  • Prologue: While Mike buffs Gypsy, Tom Servo tries to throw a mutiny. No one else wants to be captain, so Mike ends up being captain again.
  • Segment 1: The Satellite of Love crew find Pearl, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy on a nice Camping Planet. Bobo and Brain Guy help Pearl carry stuff; Bobo has to carry a bit more. The Satellite is now on auxiliary power, and has no shields. Tom goes out to inspect a disturbance on the ship, and when he comes back, there's a Facehugger clinging to his bubble.
  • Segment 2: Crow uses his brand new proximity-detector to check for more aliens. He finds out there are aliens everywhere! At least until he realizes he was actually measuring the humidity.
  • Segment 3: Tom gets rid of his face-hugger and grabs his guns and weaponry from his 500 years of roaming the universe. Servo enters the duct work to dispense with the aliens. Mike and Crow takes bets on when Servo will breakdown and cry. Tom gets stuck and, after a few seconds of nervous singing, starts sobbing; Crow wins the bet.
  • Segment 4: The crew finds a batch of alien eggs on the bridge, so Mike makes some alien egg omelets. Crow picks a weird time to become a food critic.
  • Final Segment: The ship continues to lose power as the alien drains the energy. They decide to find something that will repulse it; the only choice is for Mike to dress up as Adam Duritz. The alien flees in terror. On the planet, Pearl, Bobo, and Brain Guy enjoy a campfire and taunt the SOL crew with a ghost story. She proceeds to scare the crap out of Bobo and Brain Guy almost too easily.
  • Stinger: "People bug me, too!"

Other Notes

Miscellanea

Obscure References

  • "I picked a little fight"

Paraphrase of the actual lyrics from Bonanza. The final verse from the pilot episode started off "We got a right to pick a little fight--Bonanza".

  • "Dad played by H.L. Mencken." "Jabba the husband!"

H.L. Mencken was an influential writer and social critic who was famous for his writings on 'The Scopes' Monkey Trial.' He was fictionally portrayed as E. K. Hornbeck in 'Inherit The Wind.'

The latter riff obviously references the bloated Star Wars gangster, Jabba the Hutt.

  • "Tomorrow belongs to me!"

From the Hitler Youth song in the musical, and more famously film, Cabaret.

  • "Counselor? Come out, come out, where ever you are!"

Reference to the character Max Cady played by Robert De Niro in 'Cape Fear'

  • "And what of the lambs, Clarice? What of the lambs?"

Reference to the 1991 classic 'Silence of the Lambs'

  • "A werewolf like that who'd kill your brother..."

Reference to the song "A Boy Like That" from 'West Side Story'

  • "And get Mark Fuhrman on the case!"

- Mark Fuhrman was the Los Angeles homicide detective on the O.J Simpson murder case. His impartiality was cast under suspicion when it came to light that he openly expressed bigoted attitudes towards and, of course, using racial slurs to refer to people with dark skin. A real cop, in other words.

  • "The bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells! The tintinnabulation of the bells!"

- Part of the poem "The Bells" by Edgar Allen Poe

  • "I think Nellie Olsen is behind this!"

- Nellie Olsen was a character from the show/book "Little House on the Prairie"

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