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I Was a Teenage Werewolf

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809 - I Was a Teenage Werewolf
Air Date April 19, 1997
MST3K Director Kevin Murphy
AKA Blood of the Werewolf
Movie Director Gene Fowler Jr.
Year 1957
Cast Michael Landon
Yvonne Lime
Whit Bissell
Preceded by 808 - The She-Creature
Followed by 810 - The Giant Spider Invasion
"A werewolf is a herbivore. Luckily, this guy's name is Herb."
  — Crow

The Movie



Michael Landon in I Was a Teenage Werewolf

Michael Landon is a teenager with an anger management problem, Whit Bissel is a psychiatrist with questionable ethics.

The plot revolves around the idea that hypnosis leads to rapid and short-lived changes in physiognomy.

Psychiatrist Dr. Alfred Brandon (Bissell) uses troubled teenager Tony Rivers (Landon) as part of his campaign to 'throw back' mankind to its primal, beastly past. Dr. Brandon's rationale for turning men into beasts is that it's the only way to save mankind. Tony is uncontrollable in his werewolf form and goes on a killing spree.


  • The film inspired a spate of I Was a Teenage... films in the 1950's.
  • Watch for an appearance by Malcolm Atterbury, the dad from High School Big Shot as Tony's similarly depressing dad.
  • Scopolomine is primarily used to treat motion sickness and post-operative nausea and vomiting.

The Episode

Host Segments

  • Teenwolf2

    Mike as Adam Duritz.

    Prologue: While Mike buffs Gypsy, Tom Servo tries to throw a mutiny. No one else wants to be captain, so Mike ends up being captain again.
  • Segment 1: The Satellite of Love crew find Pearl, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy on a nice Camping Planet. Bobo and Brain Guy help Pearl carry stuff; Bobo has to carry a bit more. The Satellite is now on auxiliary power, and has no shields. Tom goes out to inspect a disturbance on the ship, and when he comes back, there's a Facehugger clinging to his bubble.
  • Segment 2: Crow uses his brand new proximity-detector to check for more aliens. He finds out there are aliens everywhere! At least until he realizes he was actually measuring the humidity.
  • Segment 3: Tom gets rid of his face-hugger and grabs his guns and weaponry from his 500 years of roaming the universe. Servo enters the duct work to dispense with the aliens. Mike and Crow takes bets on when Servo will breakdown and cry. Tom gets stuck and, after a few seconds of nervous singing, starts sobbing; Crow wins the bet.
  • Segment 4: The crew finds a batch of alien eggs on the bridge, so Mike makes some alien egg omelets. Crow picks a weird time to become a food critic.
  • Final Segment: The ship continues to lose power as the alien drains the energy. They decide to find something that will repulse it; the only choice is for Mike to dress up as Adam Duritz. The alien flees in terror. On the planet, Pearl, Bobo, and Brain Guy enjoy a campfire and taunt the SOL crew with a ghost story. She proceeds to scare the crap out of Bobo and Brain Guy almost too easily.
  • Stinger: "People bug me, too!"

Other Notes

  • First appearance of Magic Voice during MST3K's Sci-fi Channel run; she is played, for the first time, by Beth McKeever.
  • The running plot-line of the host segments mimics the popular 1979 science fiction film Alien, which features a space vessel besieged by a hostile alien life form.


Obscure References

  • "I picked a little fight"

Paraphrase of the lyrics to the theme song from the TV show Bonanza (in which Michael Landon co-starred). The final verse from the pilot episode started off "We got a right to pick a little fight--Bonanza".

  • "Dad played by H.L. Mencken." "Jabba the husband!"

H.L. Mencken was an influential writer and social critic who was famous for his writings on 'The Scopes' Monkey Trial.' He was fictionally portrayed as E. K. Hornbeck in Inherit The Wind.

The latter riff obviously references the bloated Star Wars gangster, Jabba the Hutt.

  • "Tomorrow belongs to me!"

From the Hitler Youth song in the stage musical and feature film, Cabaret.

  • "Counselor? Come out, come out, where ever you are!"

Reference to the character Max Cady played by Robert De Niro in Cape Fear

  • "And what of the lambs, Clarice? What of the lambs?"

Reference to the novel and subsequent film The Silence of the Lambs.

  • "A werewolf like that who'd kill your brother..."

Reference to the song "A Boy Like That" from the musical West Side Story.

  • "And get Mark Fuhrman on the case!"

Mark Fuhrman was the Los Angeles homicide detective on the O.J. Simpson murder case. His impartiality came under suspicion when it was revealed that he had openly expressed bigoted attitudes (including using racial slurs) towards people with dark skin.

  • "The bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells! The tintinnabulation of the bells!"

Part of the poem "The Bells" by Edgar Allen Poe.

  • "I think Nellie Olsen is behind this!"

Nellie Olsen was a character from the book and TV show Little House on the Prairie (in which Michael Landon co-starred).

Memorable Quotes

[As Michael Landon's name appears in the opening credits]
Mike[singing to the Bonanza theme] We got a film, and it's starring Michael Landon...
[A crowd of "teens" watch the fight]
Mike: And the 35-year-old high school students look on.
[Tony, played by Michael Landon, has just punched someone. His friends look on in shock]
Mike [as Tony]: But I thought I had a right to pick a little fight, Bonanza.
[Tony takes Arlene home in his sweet ride of a 1950s convertible.]
Crow: If I were a bug, I'd be proud to smash into that grill. Yep.
[Leaving the party, first victim Frank walks home through the woods.]
Mike [as Frank][muttering] "I'm okay. I don't need a ride." What was I thinking? It's like 47 miles!
Crow [as Frank]: I'm probably pretty tasty and well-marbled—not something I've often thought of.
. . .
ServoI was a Teenage Werewolf Snack.
[Tony has finished yelling at Arlene for asking an innocent question]
Mike [as Arlene]: ...and I like you because...?
Tony: I'm sorry, Arlene. I don't know why I act like this.
Crow [as Arlene]: Because you're a jerk?
Crow: Does just walking through it make you want to kill yourself? Then it's a high school!
[The werewolf approaches a high school gymnast as she practices.]
Crow: Time for your compulsory Being-Eaten routine!
. . .
[The dark-haired gymnast screams in terror.]
Crow: Judy Garland runs out of pills.
[The werewolf prowls the woods during an amazingly bright night.]
Servo: Well, they couldn't shoot at night because the night belongs to Michelob.
Mike: I thought the night belonged to love.
Servo: Yeah, it did, but it was bought out by Michelob.

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