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in: MST3K Episodes, Season 4, Unreleased Episodes, Directed by Trace Beaulieu

MST3K 416 - Fire Maidens of Outer Space

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“ "Cy Roth... Shame on you." ”
- Joel


The Movie[]

Main article: Fire Maidens of Outer Space (film)

Synopsis[]

A group of astronauts discovers an ancient civilization living on a previously-unknown moon of the planet Jupiter.

The Episode[]

Host Segments[]

Firemaiden3

The Big Checkbook

Prologue: Joel does a posture check on the bots (an homage to the Posture Pals short in episode 320 ). Suddenly, a strange black creature emerges from Crow’s shadow and attacks Cambot.

Segment One (Invention Exchange): The Mads present the big checkbook, like the ones companies use for prize giveaway photo ops. Unfortunately, Frank has written some checks to people who he can't remember, causing Forrester to interrogate him in a manner similar to that in It's a Wonderful Life. Joel presents the Nike Air-chelada, a 'high-tech cross-training shoe' whose center contains 'deliciously spreadable port-wine cheese'. Crow also introduces Joel and Tom to his new friend the black creature, whom he names "Timmy".

Firemaiden4

Timmy!

Segment Two: Double entendres that really aren’t double entendres so much as they are saying an ordinary phrase in a suggestive tone of voice. Timmy, however gets Crow in trouble with his suggestions.

Segment Three: Trying to replicate the rocket in the film's incredibly simple controls, Joel has built the Twin Screw Universal Controller, a two-lever system that controls literally everything aboard the SOL. Timmy frames Crow and gets him a time-out before fiddling with the levers, with very surreal consequences.

Segment Four: Timmy snatches Tom Servo away, screaming and crying for help, in the theater and encases him in a pseudopod on the Satellite bridge. While Crow goes one on one with his evil double, Joel arrives with a rake and forces Timmy out the airlock a la Ripley in Aliens ("Let go of him, you bitch!"). Joel scolds Crow about bringing evil specters onto the ship, but all is forgiven when they realize it's commercial sign.

Firemaiden5

Timmy vs Joel

Segment Five: The bots are having a difficult time processing what went on in the movie and Joel tries to console them. To cheer them up, he reads a letter from a girl named Ashley who says her little sister looks like Crow and her brother is slowly turning into Tom Servo. This works, but only for a little while. Timmy, meanwhile, has fallen into the hands of an unsuspecting Frank, and bites his finger before the credits roll.

Stinger: One of the astronauts discovers a secret passage

MST3K Cast[]

Regular Cast

Guest Cast

Trivia[]

  • This episode debuted as the fifteenth and last episode of Turkey Day '92.
  • The Timmy puppet is the Crow puppet normally used in the theater.
  • Ashley, the girl whose letter is read in the final host segment, would later join Joel as an adult for Turkey Day '15.

Callbacks[]

  • Joel’s posture check during the opening is a callback to the “Posture Pals” short in Experiment #320.
  • Joel says “tenperature” in segment 2, a callback to Fugitive Alien.
  • “I’m feeling REALLY good!” (Gamera vs Guiron)

Goofs[]

  • As Tom is attacked, Joel says “You didn’t tell us Tommy was in here…” He meant “Timmy.” They keep going.

Obscure References[]

  • "Mr. Secretary, the next sound you hear will be a high-pitched squeal. That'll be the sound of the ambassador's phone melting!"
A quote from the 1964 film Fail-Safe.
  • "I am the maiden of hellfire!"
A parody of the Arthur Brown song "Fire".
  • "Isn't it Prince Rogers Nelson?"
Prince Rogers Nelson is Prince's full name.
  • "Oh no, they're bombing Levittown!"
Levittown is the name of several American planned communities built during the late 1940s and early '50s, the oldest and most famous of which is located on Long Island.
  • Repeated Peenemünde references
The footage of the rocket launch and staging is archival footage of post-war V2 launches. During WW2, many V2 rockets were launched from Peenemünde in eastern Germany.
  • "King Dinosaur! That's from King - I'm leaving!"
King Dinosaur uses the same V2 footage. In fact, the clip of the rocket "landing" among a group of trees is directly lifted from the former film.
  • "Sergeant [sic] 'Bat' Guano, if that really is your name..."
A quote from Dr. Strangelove. In the relevant scene, Sellers wants Col. 'Bat' Guano to shoot up a Coke machine.
  • "They're havin' a Montclair Moment!"
A reference to an old advertising campaign for Montclair cigarettes.
  • "Stay off the moors!"
A quote from An American Werewolf in London.
  • "Chariots of Fire Maidens....Those Chariots of...."
Joel is parodying the main theme to the film Chariots of Fire created by the late Greek composer Vangelis. Servo also accompanies Joel with the heavily electronic-synth music the score was known for.
  • "Run away! RUN AWAY!" "And now the spanking!"
Quotes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
  • "ROLLERCOASTER!"
A quote from the Ohio Players song "Love Rollercoaster".   A long-standing urban legend holds that a scream you can hear in the background was the sound of a woman being murdered.
  • "Fred Mertz!"
Fred Mertz along with his wife Ethel are the neighbors and close friends of Lucy and Ricky Ricardo from the classic sitcom I Love Lucy. He was a fairly heavy-set old man similar to Prasus in the film.
  • "Donna Douglas!"
Actress Donna Douglas is best remembered for playing Elly May on The Beverly Hillbillies.
  • "These are cola nuts!"
A reference to a memorable 7-Up commercial from the 1970s featuring the hearty laugh of the remarkable Geoffrey Holder.
  • "In fact, these are the fifteen vestal virgins who are headed for the coast!"
A reference to the Procul Harum song "A Whiter Shade of Pale".
  • "Oh mighty bo-omb..."
A reference to the society of nuclear bomb-worshiping mutants from Beneath the Planet of the Apes.
  • "We have joy, we have fun, we have seasons..."
A reference to the song "Seasons in the Sun" by Terry Jacks.
  • "Maybe she's an Ellen Jamesian."
In John Irving's novel The World According to Garp, the Ellen Jamesians are a group of radical feminists who have cut out their own tongues in support of an eleven year old girl named Ellen James, whose rapists cut out her tongue to silence her.
  • "Look ladies, I'm no Wilt Chamberlain!"
Basketball player Wilt Chamberlain claimed in 1991 that he had sex with over 20,000 women in his life... Or, assuming he became sexually active at the age of 15, 1.37 women per day.
  • "Looks like Ric Ocasek in a union suit!"
Ric Ocasek was and American musician best remembered as the lead singer of The Cars. A union suit is a type of full-body long underwear.
  • "So he signed me up for this film called 'Sleep', with Andy Warhol..."
In 1963, artist Andy Warhal directed an experimental film entitled Sleep that consists of eight hours' worth of footage of a man sleeping.
  • "Jeez, the Bataan Death March was less painful than this!"
The Bataan Death March occurred in 1942, when the Japanese army forced tens of thousands of American POWs and Filipino resistance fighters- many of whom died in the process- to walk across an occupied Philippine island.
  • "Tip O'Neill, ladies and gentlemen! Tip O'Neill!"
Tip O'Neill was the Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives from 1977 to 1987.
  • "Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets..."
A song from the Broadway musical Damn Yankees.
  • "Number three, the larch."
A reference to "How to Recognise Different Types of Trees from Quite a Long Way Away", an episode of Monty Pythong's Flying Circus.
  • "Snipe! Here, snipe! ...I couldn't find any snipe! Guys!"
A snipe hunt is a type of practical joke that often involves sending the person on the receiving end to "find" a nonexistent animal or object.
  • "Blair!" "The moment I met you, I swear!"
Reference to the song "Clair" by Gilbert O'Sullivan.
  • "I'm just a girl who can't say no, I'm in a terrible fix..."
"...I always say, 'Come on let's go,' when I oughta say nix." As sung by the character Ado Annie in the musical Oklahoma!.
  • "Does anybody have a copy of 'Final Exit'? 'Cause I'm gonna need it!"
Final Exit is a controversial book detailing methods of suicide.
  • "Anderson..." "You make windows!"
A reference to the Andersen Windows company.

Memorable Quotes[]

[Joel suddenly notices Timmy]
Joel: Oh hey Crow, who's this over here?
Crow: Oh... I "prayed for a friend" and he came! His name is Timmy!
Joel: I thought you wanted a bike.
Joel: Please remain seated until the movie comes to a grinding halt.
Crow: I question the relevance of this scene.
Servo: I question the relevance of EVERY scene.
[The creature grabbing a young scantily dressed woman trying to get away.]
Crow: Oh no! There are Kennedys on this planet!
[A "clownish looking" Joel roasting Tom Servo on a spit after Timmy messes with the ship's controls that warps reality.]
Crow: Hey guys... uh... anything wrong?
[Crow, Joel and Servo sing to the tune of the stock classical music playing in the background.]
"Bad bad bad FILM! Bad, bad bad FILM! Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad FILM! Bad..the..bad...the..bad bad bad FILM! Bad..the..bad...the..bad bad bad FILM! Bad bad bad, bad bad bad bad bad....."
[After reading a letter to cheer themselves up from the film's awfulness, Joel and the bots act defiant towards Dr. Forrester.]
Joel: See? We made it through Mads! You can throw us your worst, we can handle it. Mighty Jack...
Servo: YEAH!
Joel: Castle of Fu Manchu...
Crow: Piece of cake!
Joel: Fugitive Alien, Hellcats...
Servo and Crow: Ha ha ha ha!
Joel: Go ahead and do your worst we can take it!! Yeah even... Fire Maidens from Outer Space!
[Crow and Servo's defiance falls apart and they fall into despair again.]
Servo: ARGH!! The poison wine!! What was the point of the poison wine!!?
Crow: Cy Roth had to pad the film just so he could get to the parts that had MORE PADDING!! WAAAUGH!!
Joel: Listen sirs... I hope you're proud.

Video Releases[]

A home video release of this episode is not currently forthcoming due to exclusive distribution rights to the featured film currently being held by Olive Films. However, the host segments are available on the Satellite Dishes disc included in Volume XXXIX.

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