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"Every Country Has A Monster" is a song from Experiment #1101 - Reptilicus. It is sung by Jonah and the 'Bots in response to the 'Bots' confusion over the idea of a Danish monster.

The music and lyrics were written by Storm DiCostanzo and Paul Sabourin of Paul & Storm.

Lyrics

Jonah:

Reptilicus is silly, but he really illustrates

The great array of monsters all over the place.

Not just in Japan, but across the planet:

An A to Z gamut, or gargantuan panoply.


Servo:

Example, please?


Jonah:

Well, name a land!


Servo: Belize.


Jonah: Oh, geez! Easy-peasy, mes amis!

See, in the Yucatan,

You can meet El Cadejo.

In Belize, they believe in him,

They’re not afraid to say so.


Servo:

Scotland?


Jonah:

Nessie’s livin’ up in a loch!


Servo: How ‘bout Poland?


Jonah:

A scary scarecrow named “Bubak.”


Crow T. Robot:

So it’s not just Godzilla?


Servo:

Well, duh, Crow. There’s a lot that could kill ya.


Crow:

Hey!


Jonah:

Tom.


Servo:

Sorry, Crow.


Crow: Okay.


Servo:

Bros?


Crow:

Sho’.


Servo:

Yo, Jonah, how’s the chorus go?


Jonah:

Every country has a monster

They’re afraid of in their nation.


All:

Every monster has a country.

Yeah, a station they call their home!


Crow: 

Gunter glieben glauchen Crow-ben.


Servo:

What turned the musk deer’s guts to spaghetti?


Jonah: Was it in Tibet?


Servo: Yep.


Jonah: I bet he met a yeti.


Crow:

Australia?


Jonah: Their drop bears will impale ya.


Servo:

Then they’ll sell ya hella touristy paraphernalia.


Jonah: Chupacabra’s chewin’ up cattle down in Mexico.

Déélgééd’s horn is gorin’, battlin’ the Navajo.

Congo’s kongamato is a mondo flyin’ dino.

I know I don’t wanna die, but when I do, he’ll be the guy.


‘Bots:

Whoa!


Servo:

So, Crow?


Crow:

Servo?


Servo:

Ready to go?


Crow:

Start slow.


Servo:

Kropermann is a monster from Luxembourg.


Crow:

Who’s actually the size of Luxembourg.


Servo:

He crushed the whole country of Luxembourg.


All: Because he is the size of Luxembourg!


Jonah:

What?


Crow:

Egypt’s got mummies like Tutankhamun.


Servo:

Leprechaun on the lawn in Boston Common.


Jonah:

You ‘bots got the hang of it, this song’s really kickin’!


All:

Chickety-China, the Chinese chicken!


Jonah:

(Spoken)

And by that, I mean Jiufeng and Peng. They’re giant Chinese birds, and one of them turns into a fish! Anyway…


(Rapped)

Gnus, killer shrews, and the loup garous

Baba Yaga, Jorogumo, and the impundulu.

Now you guys realize the surprising size

Of all the worldwide daikaiju!


All:

Every country has a monster

They’re afraid of in their nation.

Every monster


Gypsy:

Sasquatch?


All:

Has a country.


Jonah: That’s Canada!


All:

Yeah, a station they call their home!


Servo:

Tatzelwurm for the Swiss!


All:

Every country


Crow:

Scandinavia!


All:

Has a monster


Jonah:

That’s kraken!


All:

They’re afraid of


Servo: Kinga!


All:

In their nation


Jonah and Crow:

Moon 13!


All: Every monster has a country.

Yeah, we’ve got Movie Sign!



Songs
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Series "MST3K Love Theme" • "Mighty Science Theater"
Season K
Season 1 "Clay & Lar's Flesh Barn" • "Commando Cody Song" • "Beverly Hillbillies Parody"
Season 2 "Sidehackin'" • "Only Love Pads the Film" • "Wild Rebels Cereal" • "My Creepy Girl" • "If Chauffeurs Ruled the World" • "The Jet Jaguar Song" • "Godzilla Genealogy Bop"
Season 3 "Tibby, Oh Tibby" • "Idiot Control" • "A Clown in the Sky" • "Hike Your Pants Up" • "Celebrity Siblings" • "The Gamera Song" • "Michael Feinstein's Gamera" • "Annoying Cornjob Song" • "Slow the Plot Down" • "The Plate Spinning Song" • "The Waffle Song" • "Cosmic Freight Train" • "Music from Some Guys in Space" • "Fugitive Alien Medley" • "Sandy Frank Song" • "A Patrick Swayze Christmas"
Season 4 "City Rap" • "Oh, Kim Cattrall" • "A Danger to Myself and Others" • "Tribute to Pants" • "Satellite of Love Marching Song" • "Ode on Estelle" • "Gypsy Moons" • "Hired!" • "The Many Tunes of Gamera" • "Gypsy Rose Me" • "Happy Thoughts"
Season 5 "What a Pleasant Journey" • "The Janitor Song" • "Killer Shrew" • "My Wild Irish Ireland" • "Joey the Lemur" • "Master Ninja Theme Song" • "Tubular Boobular Joy" • "Whispering Christmas Warrior" • "Merry Christmas...If That's Okay" • "Mystos" • "Girl in Lovers Lane Theme" • "The Greatest Frank of All"
Season 6 "Bouncy Upbeat Song" • "Who Will I Kill?" • "Supercalafragalisticexpiala-wacky!" • "United Servo Academy Men's Chorus Hymn" • "The Poopy Suit Anthem" • "Livin' in Deep 13" • "Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter"
Season 7 "Phones"
Season 8 "The Gods Jam" • "The Funky Seventies" • "Sodium!" • "Loving Lovers Love" • "Satellite Hootenanny" • "Digger Smolkin Medley" • "When I Held Your Brain in My Arms"
Season 9 "Rowsdower Saves Us" • "Air on a Delta Knight" • "The Canada Song" • "Hobgoblins" • "Where, Oh Werewolf" • "Stay!" • " Puma Man"
Season 10 "Oh, I Am Sad" • "Bobo Creek" • "To Earth"
Season 11 "Every Country Has a Monster" • "Our Love Is on Wings (You Can't See)" • "UFO" • "The Great Space Circus" • "Aloha" • "Moon 14 Mesozoic Ranch Dinosaur BBQ Theme"
Additional "1997 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "1998 Academy of Robot's Choice Awards Special" • "1998 Summer Blockbuster Review Theme" • "#BringBackMST3K Theme" • "#WeBroughtBackMST3K Theme" • "Satellite of Love"
Collections Clowns in the SkyClowns in the Sky IIMystery Science Theater 3000: The Return (Music from the Netflix Original Series)Songs in the Key of MSTThe New Themes of MST3K

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