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1013 - Diabolik
Air Date August 8, 1999
Running Time 100 min.
AKA Danger: Diabolik
Movie Director Mario Bava
Year 1968
Cast John Phillip Law
Marisa Mell
Michel Piccoli
Adolfo Celi
Preceded by 1012 - Squirm
I have to agree: dee-dee-da.
  — Crow

The real series finale. As the SOLers and Mads end their 10-year mission, they must suffer through Diabolik, a crime-intrigue-thriller movie based on a popular comic strip.

The Movie


In psychedelic swinging 60s style, the dreaded thief Diabolik (Law) wreaks havoc in Europe for his own financial gain and amusement. He shares an extravagant underground lair (and a giant bed of money) with his curvaceous, superficial girlfriend (Mell), who helps Diabolik to kill innocent people and steal billions from the government.[1]


  • The movie is based on Diabolik, one of the longest running -- and most successful -- Italian comic strips. In the paper version, Diabolik is much more sinister than his cinematic counterpart -- he's a criminal fighting evil with evil, often resorting to murder to "punish" the evildoers he meets. The movie was made assuming some knowledge of the comic strip, thus explaining the negative reaction it gets outside Italy.[2]
  • Footage from this film was used in a Beastie Boys music video for their song "Body Movin'". The video is a parody of the movie and roughly follows the films sequence of events, with a more deliberate comedic twist.
  • Actress Marisa Mell had previously appeared in Secret Agent Super Dragon.
  • John Phillip Law is perhaps better known to movie-goers as the blind angel Pygar in Barberella. He would go on to play the antagonist Kalgan in Space Mutiny.
  • Ralph Valmont (Adolfo Celi) also appeared in Thunderball and Operation Double 007.
  • While this is the series finale of MST3K, the last original episode that aired was Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders, on Sept. 18, 1999 (the airing was delayed by problems with rights clearances).  The final episode to air in reruns was The Screaming Skull, on Jan. 21, 2004.  
  • In a sense, this is the second series finale, as the final episode of the Comedy Central era (Laserblast) was written to serve as the final episode if the show was not picked up by another network.

The Episode

Host Segments

  • 1013-3

    Pearl pulls the plug

    Prologue: Mike & the Bots discover the SOL employee handbook, which seems not entirely progressive.
  • Segment One: Mike toys around with the handbook; Crow asks about dental coverage. "Shut up, you have no right to ask." While looking through the ship tips to the side! Pearl has a new joystick to mess with the SOL, but it breaks, accidentally causing the SOL to begin landing. Mike & the Bots are thrilled (though Crow is nauseous); Pearl is less thrilled.
  • PearlDiabolik

    Pearl loads the last movie

    Segment Two: Crow and Mike are packed; while Servo begins disposing of the many extra hims on the ship.
  • Segment Three: In Castle Forrester, everybody is lining up new gigs: Pearl has accepted an offer to be dictator for life of Qatar, Bobo has a great new position at the zoo and Brain Guy of stuff going on.
  • Segment Four: Crow has become fearful of returning to Earth, so Mike sings a little reassuring song, which helps, but also succeeds in scaring Servo.

    The final shot of the series

  • Segment Five: The SOL nearly disintegrates during re-entry, but Mike & the Bots survive the crash. We leave Mike, Crow and Servo (Gypsy has launched ConGypsCo) happily sharing a small apartment, and settling in to watch a bad movie--"The Crawling Eye"--on TV. As they begin to riff on it, it occurs to Crow that the movie seems familiar.
  • Stinger: "Is that stud coming?"[3]


  • The series finale.
  • Crow's comment about The Crawling Eye looking familiar is a reference to the first broadcast episode the show did for The Comedy Channel. Interestingly, neither Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, nor Bill Corbett had yet taken over their respective on-screen roles when the episode had originally aired (though Nelson and Murphy were part of the writing staff).
  • Tom Servo gives the last riff in the theater ("This has been the official biopic of Larry Fine").
  • Mike gives the last riff ever on the show ("Oh, Forrest Tucker, he's the guy that makes sure the trees' shirt tails are in"), while the gang is watching TV in his apartment.

Obscure References

  • "Oh no! Is someone gonna tell us that something is "shagadelic, man?""
Referencing the catch phrase of Austin Powers , a character other than Shrek who was the zenith of Mike Myer's acting career. (Boy was THAT a long time ago.) 
  • "Looks like the Two Fat Ladies have their own gang now!"
A reference to the British cooking show Two Fat Ladies.
1013 Final Credit

Final Credit

  • "If Hitler had won and hired Stu Sutcliffe as his fashion designer."
Stu Sutcliffe was a member of the Beatles before their rise to fame. He was apparently fond of leather jackets.
  • "A young Alan Greenspan."
Alan Greenspan was the chairman of the Federal Reserve from 1987 to 2006.
  • "Mein Fuhrer! I can walk!"
A line spoken by the title character in Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.
  • "George Jones tours Italy." "George Jones drives a truck."
Country singer George Jones was involved in a heavily publicized drunk-driving accident in March 1999.
  • "Oh no, abandon ship!  Sebastian Junger wrote a book about us!"
Junger's best known book is The Perfect Storm, about a fishing boat trip that did not end so well.
  • "It's a long way to Tipperary"
Referencing the final episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, and quite possibly to Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie.

The green screen error (look to the right)


  • At the end of the first theater segment when Cambot goes back through the doors, there is a brief green screen goof where part of the movie bleeds through the grey hatch.

Memorable Quotes

[Diabolik drives off down a highway as 60s spy-themed music plays in the background.]
Crow: [singing along with the music] Gonna go to the

store! Da na na na na na! Gonna pick up some bread! Da na na na na na! Maybe stop by the post office! Da na na na na na! Take Dolores to lunch! Da na na na na na! Hope they're serving that ham, oh yeah...

[A caravan guarding a shipment of money is traveling along a road, to the sound of peppy surf-rock music.]
Crow:Y'know, this music would be better with women in bikinis shaking it all over the place... Well, I guess that's true of any music, really.
[In Diabolik's lair, the black-leather-clad antihero and Eva, still in their car, move in for another lip-lock.]
Servo [as Diabolik]: Let's have a tantric quickie.
Mike [as Eva]: Mmm… mmm… oh, you smell like a tire store.
Servo: This is just a good samaritan he met in the tunnel.
Crow: Heh! She's a great samaritan!
Servo [as Diabolik]: You don't mind if I swallow your face, do you?
[Diabolik drives into his lair through a rather conspicuous hidden entrance.]
Servo [as Diabolik]: This will fool them unless they look at it.
[The lovely Eva is removing her skimpy frock as she passes a staircase.]
Mike: Wow! Dangerously steep stairs!
Servo: You're watching the stairs?
Crow: Poor Mike...
[Eva and Diabolik make love in a pile of money.]
Servo: They're really gonna have to get their money laundered.
Crow: Steve Forbes and his wife!
. . .
Mike: You know, with my budget, I'd be rolling around in a handful of change.
. . .
Servo: Paper cuts are brutal.
. . .
Crow: The young Alan Greenspan!
. . .
Servo: They got pretty injured when they tried this with gold bars.
. . .
Mike: If they make love in English pound notes, their sex is 50% better.
. . .
Servo [as Diabolik]: You're the frendliest teller I ever met! Last time, I just got a toaster!
. . .
Crow: You know, if he'd stolen just a little less, I could see her ass right now.
. . .
Crow: Got greed?
Servo: Member, FDIC! [chuckles]
[During a press conference, Diabolik and Eva have released laughing gas into the room. Everyone breaks into laughter.]
Servo: Dan Quayle announces his candidacy.
[As mob boss Valmont meets with his henchmen, a whooping horn sounds the approach of a speedboat.]
Mike: The S. S. Jo Anne Worley!
Valmont: Is that Stud... coming?
Crow: I beg your pardon?
[In a later scene, Valmont addresses the man who arrived in the

speedboat as "Stud" -- "Stud, you brought bad news." -- clarifying the remark.]

[Diabolik, out of ammunition, pulls out a mysterious silver metal cylinder the size and shape of a very large bullet.]
Servo [as Diabolik]: My steel, reusable Fleet.
Mike [as Diabolik]: Maybe I can run real fast and push it into him.
[The movie closes with the word "FINE" (Italian for "the end").]
Servo: This has been the official biopic of Larry Fine.[N]
[At home, the gang watches The Crawling Eye, the first film in MST3K's cable run.]
Servo: "The Crawling Eye". The Marty Feldman Story.
Mike: Oh, Forrest Tucker. He's the guy who makes sure all the trees' shirttails are in.
Crow: This movie seems kind of familiar, doesn't it?
Servo: Hmmm.


  1. MST3K: Diabolik; Plot Summary (IMDb)
  2. MST3K: Diabolik; Trivia (IMDb)
  3. Satellite News
MST3K - The Final Promo - Diabolik00:31

MST3K - The Final Promo - Diabolik

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