|703 - Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell|
|Air Date||February 17, 1996|
|MST3K Director||Trace Beaulieu|
|AKA||Deathstalker 3: The Warriors from Hell|
|Movie Director||Alfonso Corona|
|Cast||John Allen Nelson, Carla Herd, Thom Christopher|
|Preceded by||702 - The Brute Man|
|Followed by||704 - The Incredible Melting Man|
John Allen Relson goes to a Renaissance Fest with a camera and crew and all Hell breaks loose. But really it's not as great as that. In all seriousness, Deathstalker is just a snide cracker who is stuck being chased and clobbered by every person he runs into. When Crow says, "I'm glad he gets hit a lot", you'll agree. He meets a princess and she dies, then he meets her again (or was that her sister?) and she doesn't die this time. Oh, and they have to find a stone and save all creation from some bald, 5'8" evil villain who dresses like Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard and his horny, angry wife.
Do the swords in this movie strike you as a bit, well, dull and fake?
Make sure you watch Troxartas make a fist around the sword John Allan Nelson jabs into him during the climactic fight scene. Yep. Those are some seriously fake swords.
Host Segments Edit
Segment Two: The Bots throw a Renaissance Fest for Mike and fleece him for all he's got. Mike loves every second of it because he had never been to one on Earth.
Segment Three: Mike comes back for more, but Tom and Crow have lost interest. They do humor him a little, but in the end they all try to go and pet the dead camel.
Segment Four: Dr. F goes to the store to get Mother some Robitussin and she is in need of entertainment. Crow/Art happens to be walking by the view screen when he is nabbed to read Love's Sweet Throbbing Gondola. Yuck. (If you want more horrible scenes from romance novels, Google "Uncle walter's bad romance novel quotes." Funny stuff but NSFW, so I ain't linking directly.)
Segment Five: Mike reads a letter and Tom eventually succeeds at hammering out a new Great Ring of Power, a la Lord of the Rings. We jump cut to Dr. F walking a glass of tainted milk out to mother (in homage to a famous scene from Suspicion). At the last second, Clay turns on himself and chugs sweet freedom from Mom.
Stinger: Trashy Chick's mother saying, "Potatoes are what we eat!"
Obscure References Edit
- "These two? The Merchant and Ivory of Mexico."
A reference to Merchant Ivory Productions.
- "Looks like they're shooting a Men Without Hats video"
The sequence with peasants running around at the festival resembles the music video for the Men Without Hats song "The Safety Dance".
- "So...Michael McDonald is fighting the guy from Loverboy!"
Later, during the fight, Servo sings lines from the Doobies hit "Takin' it to the streets" whenever 'Michael McDonald' appears on screen. At the end, Mike cuts off Servo as he launches into "What a Fool Believes".
- "Go Blaze!"
A reference to American Gladiators, a TV show where contestants compete against bodybuilders in a series of events, created in 1989 and revived in 2008; Blaze was one of the Gladiators in the original version. The practice fight in the film resembles the event "Joust" from the show.
- "A Power Rangers coin, everyone!"
A reference to Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, specifically the first three seasons, where the heroes derived their powers from special coins infused with mystic energy.
- "Andy Travis, hero!"
Andy Travis was the feathered-haired, country-boy-esque protagonist of the sitcom WKRP in Cincinnati.
- "Why does he have Bjorn Borg trussed to the wall?"
Bjorn Borg is a former world tennis champion from Sweden, with long, blond hair.
- "Lodac, are you talking to the toilet again?"
Lodac was the villain played by Basil Rathbone in The Magic Sword.
- "Nick and Nora Charles!"
Wisecracking husband-and-wife detective team created by Dashiell Hammett, portrayed by William Powell and Myrna Loy in The Thin Man movie series.
- "The fog cruises in on little cat feet!"
Parody-paraphrase of the opening line of Carl Sandburg's poem Fog from Chicago Poems
- "I should be playing canasta with Saruman!", "I've got to tell Radagast, he won't believe it!", etc.
References to the various wizards of J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy.
- "She got it from a man who said 'Brandy ... my love and my lady is the sea'"
- "A port on a western bay that serves a hundred ships a day..."
Lines from the song Brandy by Looking Glass.
- "Conquistador, your stallion stands!"
A quote from the Procol Harum song "Conquistador".
- "He's Hasselhoffing it big-time!"
Deathstalker is sucking in his gut, a la David Hasselhoff on Baywatch. (Coincidentally, John Allen Nelson was a recurring character on "Baywatch.")
- "Answer unclear, ask again later."
A misquote of one of the twenty stock answers on a 'Magic 8-Ball ' toy.
- "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...!"
The chorus to a children's hymn (and church camp sing-along standard) by Harry Loes.
- "It's the Judean People's Front! Or the People's Front of Judea..."
A reference to the half-assed revolutionary group in Monty Python's Life of Brian .
- "Our long national nightmare is over."
Gerald Ford's words on pardoning Richard Nixon.