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Crash of Moons

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417 - Crash of Moons
Air Date November 28, 1992
Movie Director Hollingsworth Morse
Year 1954
Cast Richard Crane, Sally Mansfield, Scotty Beckett, John Banner
Short General Hospital, segment 3
Preceded by 416 - Fire Maidens of Outer Space
Followed by 418 - Attack of the the Eye Creatures

The Short


The awkward engagement party dissolves when the groom-to-be is called away for a hospital emergency.


The Movie


Rocky Jones (Crane) tries to save the inhabitants of a planet that is doomed to a collision with one of the moons of a two-moon system but runs into resistance from the planet's suspicious empress.[1]


  • Not a feature film but a three-part episode from the TV series "Rocky Jones, Space Ranger" edited together and released as a feature. [2]
  • This is the same 1950's TV series that was lampooned 4 episodes ago in Manhunt in Space.
  • Bavarro was played by John Banner, who is best remembered as Sgt. Schultz on TV’s "Hogan’s Heroes".
  • Dr. Forrester, Joel and the Bots repeatedly refer to the feature as "Crash of the Moons", although the official title lacks the article "the". This is likely due to "the" being added to the title on video releases of this feature over the years. The characters within the movie itself repeatedly refer to the pending disaster as "the crash of moons".

The Episode

Host Segments

Prologue: Crow attempts to earn money by selling 'Grit' but mistakenly uses actual grit. Joel and Tom admonish Crow about some of his previous moneymaking schemes including selling turkey pizzas. Crow tries once more by grilling Joel about his insurance needs.

Invention Exchange (Segment One): Dr. F has invented a frosting toothpaste that creates cavities. Joel demonstrates the Rock-N-Wreck guitar for garage musicians who can't afford to dramatically destroy their instruments.

Segment Two: Crow and Tom vie for Gypsy's affections with their 1920's ditty "The Gypsy Moons".

Segment Three: Joel and the Bots send benevolent "Bannergrams" via fax to various people, all of whom live in Denver.

Segment Four: Crow introduces his spec script teleplay based on "Crash of the Moons" and "Star Trek". Joel and the Bots do a read-through and give notes.

Closing (Segment Five): Joel reads a viewer letter and the SOL is visited by John Banner/Bavarro via the hexfield viewscreen. Joel sends a 'Bannergram' to Deep 13.

Stinger: "Boopie!"

Unusual Credits: Banner (Michael J. Nelson) can't stop complimenting Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank.

Obscure References

  • "When Ann Sexton throws a party".

Ann Sexton was an American poet and writer who committed suicide.

  • "I hate these Pinter plays".

Harold Pinter is an English playwright, screenwriter, actor, director, poet and political activist whose plays are marked stylistically by theatrical pauses and silences.

  • I think I'll put on my Dan Hill album.

Dan Hill is a Canadian singer and songwriter who achieved popularity in the 1970's for songs that sometimes flirted with the maudlin and depressing.

  • "Arthur Pierson, inventor of the Salted Nut Goodie!"

A play on Pearson's Candy Company, a St. Paul-based confectioner. Joel actually combines the names of two of their products, the Salted Nut Roll and the Nut Goodie.

  • "Rahsaan Roland Reed!".

Rahsaan Roland Kirk was an American jazz multi-instrumentalist. And he was blind.

  • "Leona Helmsley!"

Leona Helmsley was a billionaire hotel operator and real estate investor who was nicknamed "The Queen of Mean".

  • "Please try to understand" - I'm a magic man."

A line from the song "Magic Man" by Heart.

  • "...and bring back the Boston Rag!"

A line from the song "The Boston Rag" by Steely Dan.

  • "The Honeymooners!"

"The Honeymooners" was a popular television show of the late fifties staring Jackie Gleason. The music cue which prompts the riff is reminiscent of the big band theme used to open and close that show.

  • "You and your daughter are doomed"

A callback to episode 110 'Robot Holocaust'.

  • "I don't care!"

A callback to Experiment #306 Time of the Apes.

  • "Frau Blucher!"

A reference to the 1974 movie Young Frankenstein directed by Mel Brooks.

  • "Vladimir"

The character 'Professor Newton' bears a slight resemblance to legendary 20th century Russian-American pianist Vladimir Horowitz.

  • "Oon yellimon...."

This phrase was suggested as a possible "mantra" for consciousness expansion on the 1970's comedy album "A Child's Garden of Grass".

  • "Say the secret word and Bill Cosby rips your show off."

During a scene where the space station is violently rocked by the "atmosphere chain", an unidentified instrument descends from ceiling - not unlike the duck which used to descend from the ceiling in the game show "You Bet Your Life" whenever someone said the "secret word". The show was hosted by Groucho Marx, hence Crow's impersonation, and was later briefly resurrected with Bill Cosby as the host.

  • "Twisted old fruit"

An epithet delivered by useless band manager "Ian" from the 1984 movie This is Spinal Tap directed by Rob Reiner and written by Christopher Guest and Michael McKean.

  • "She Blinded Me with Science!"

The title of a 1982 New Wave song and music video by British musician Thomas Dolby in which stereotyped scientists somewhat resembling Professor Newton appear.

  • "Bavarro and Bavarro and Bavarro"

A variation of "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow", the third sentence from from one of the soliloquies of Shakespeare's play Macbeth.

  • "Now it's garbage!"

A line delivered by the character Oscar Madison in Neil Simon's play "The Odd Couple". The popular film version starred Walter Matthau in the role.

  • "Why are you dressed as Liberace's chauffeur?"

Liberace was an American entertainer known for his gaudy and flamboyant attire, a candelabra-bedecked piano his popular 50's television program.

  • "Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto"

A line from the chorus of the 1983 song "Mr. Roboto" by the band Styx.

  • "How is the little nipper, Martha?"

A reference to Richard Burton's delivery of similar dialogue in the movie version of Edward Albee's 1962 play "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?". In the movie, George and Martha actually referred to their 'son' as "the little bugger".

  • "Not since 'Fire Maidens of Outer Space' has there been such a ladder scene so compelling'

A reference to Experiment #416 Fire Maidens of Outer Space in which ladders played a critical role.

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