Clay & Lars' Flesh Barn is a song from the episode Women of the Prehistoric Planet. It was written by Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Laurence Erhardt to promote their new chain of fast-food restaurants, which serves raw, uncooked meat as its main menu item (despite all practical advice never to).
Set-up
- (On the Satellite of Love)
- Joel Robinson: Hey, sirs. Uh, wha--what's up?
- (In Deep 13)
- Dr. Erhardt: Our income if this new gig works out.
- Dr. Forrester: Yes. Larry and I have developed a new chain of fast food restaurants with very low overhead because we don't cook our food.
- Dr. Erhardt: 'Cause frying and broiling takes out a lot of the nutrients.
- Dr. Forrester: Yes. Uh, if your body likes another body, why don't you try one of our burgers au naturel? It's, uh, ripped from the bone to your plate in seconds. It's "Clay and Lar's Flesh Barn". Ha, ha. Uh, make with the lyrics, Larry.
- (Dr. Erhardt begins playing the guitar as Dr. Forrester holds up a scale model of their restaurant)
Lyrics
- Dr. Erhardt: If you're tired of the same old fare,
- You've got a friend named Clay and Lar.
- All our meat is guaranteed rare
- Because we don't cook it!
- Dr. Forrester: (spoken) You see, cooking takes out all the flavor.
- Dr. Erhardt: If you're tired of cookin' at home,
- Try our meat right off the bone.
- If you listen, you can hear it moan
- Because we don't cook it!
- Dr. Forrester: (spoken) Stunned, killed right at your table, eviscerated, very fresh.
- Dr. Erhardt: Now, there's no need for you to drive through,
- Our fresh meat will walk out to you.
- You'll say hi, you'll say moo,
- It's Clay and Lar's Flesh Barn.
- Dr. Forrester: (spoken) Fifteen locations to serve you, now in Altoona.
Reprise
At the end of the episode, Dr. Erhardt plays a short reprise:
- I think I'll file this thing for you
- As I always seem to do
- I like working for you Clay
- 'Cause you're a really neat guy.
Behind the Scenes
The model "Clay and Lar's Flesh Barn" restaurant seen in this sketch was later used as the "Home of the Big 'G' Burger" restuarant outside the Gizmonic Institute. It was made from an HO-scale Drive-In Kentucky Fried Chicken model. [1]